365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles
Day 22. April 16, 2011
I was driving through a neighborhood in Frisco this morning. I was trying to find a house on ABC Lane. I found ABC Lane but I could not find the right house number.
I was baffled. Am I an idiot? Am I incapable of following MapQuest directions? Besides all these concerns… it’s 9:15 am. I’m late by 15 minutes. I HATE being late.
I double checked the email my friend Meredith sent with the address details.
I concluded it was technically impossible for there to be a house that matched the address I had: 502 ABC Lane. There was1001 ABC Lane, 1002 ABC Lane, etc. And ABC Lane was a very short street. I even tried another street ADC Lane—thinking maybe she goofed on the street name.
I decide to call my friend whom I am meeting at this house. I began with a cheerful voice which is unusual for me so early in the morning. I said “hi Meredith, I think I’m here—but I can’t seem to find the house. Is the address 502 ABC Lane?”
Meredith replies, “yes it is. Just look for my car.”
I hesitate and ask, “what city?”
Meredith replied, “it’s in Plano.”
(Plano is about a half hour away)
In the past my tone of voice might have changed dramatically at this point. You see, her email indicated the house was in Frisco.
“Oh!” I say in a pleasant voice. “Well, I’m going to be a bit late—I somehow ended up in Frisco. Please don’t wait on me to eat breakfast—enjoy your meal I will get there when I can.”
When I met up with Meredith I didn’t point out the address being wrong. I didn’t justify myself for being late. The morning and day went on quite happily.
The Dale Carnegie Principle I used is from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 26. Let the other person save face.
When someone makes a mistake such as giving an incorrect address—take a moment to look at the big picture before you blame, yell or make the person feel small. Mistakes happen and in the grand scheme of things it’s a minor inconvenience that you can look back upon with humor. After all, can you imagine what it would have been like if there had been a home on 502 ABC Lane in Frisco?
Me: “Hi, I’m here to visit Meredith!”
Stranger living on 502 ABC Lane in Frisco: “Who is Meredith and why are you knocking on my door at 9 am?”