Day 113. Maximus my laptop is sick– what a great opportunity to use a Dale Carnegie principle

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 113.  Sunday, July 17, 2011
I made a fatal mistake on Saturday night.  I carelessly clicked on a link.  I welcomed a virus onto my laptop “Max.”  My heart sank.  I turned off the computer immediately hoping to avoid serious infection.

All the conversation around me turned into noise—like the sound of the school teacher in the Peanuts cartoon.

I had one concern and nothing else mattered—fixing my infected laptop Max. 

I was at my parents’ home at the time.  I was ready to go home.  I passed on most of the offers for leftover food.  (which really indicates my mind was preoccupied!)

I drove home stressed.  How will I post my blog?  I remembered I have my old laptop that still works.  What about photos?  I remembered I have an external hard drive with most of my photos.  Besides—I can always take photos with my camera and load them onto my old laptop.  I was actually able to breath a sigh of relief. 

I got home and ran the virus protection software.  Then I did something out of character.  I decided to accept the inevitable.  I’m not the most qualified to fix my computer.  I won’t see my techie friend who usually fixes my laptops until Monday.  I put the problem in a “day-tight” compartment and went to the gym. 

Try as I might to manipulate the inner workings of this watch-- I cannot speed up time

I didn’t spend my time at the gym chewing on my fears of an infected or dying laptop.  I didn’t think about the laptop at all.  Monday didn’t seem like decades away either.  It’s the day after Sunday and it’s around the corner.  Besides—this isn’t like the time I forgot my laptop in Michigan and was without my laptop for an entire week.  There’s nothing I can do about the laptop until then. 

I returned from the gym, wrote my blog on my other laptop—and life is good.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Live in “day-tight” compartments.

In all honesty—I have no idea how I’m not worried about my laptop Max.  All I can conclude is practicing the Dale Carnegie principles on a consistent basis actually does work—even with the most stubborn individuals like the Smiling Daffodil.  One of the unexpected advantages of a “sick” laptop—I was unplugged for the day and focused on a much needed afternoon nap! 

The lesson to learn from this story:  look at your worries objectively.  Don’t let the chaos of your fears and emotions take control.  Find a solution and accept that the solution might not happen until “Monday”.  In the meantime don’t deny yourself peace of mind.  When you do this—you won’t waste valuable energy on things you cannot control.  You will be happier, healthier and you might find an opportunity to do something relaxing like take an afternoon nap. 

Housekeeping / Notes:
Thank you for reading my blog.  Be looking for incremental improvements during the coming weeks. 

Day 101. I decided to grab the bull by the horns—I accepted responsibility and I lived in a day-tight compartment

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 101.  Tuesday, July 5, 2011
It was midnight and I was on a stairmaster at the gym.  I was wrapping up a workout while reflecting on how great Monday was.

That’s when it hit me.  I forgot to launch a marketing campaign on Monday!  It’s officially 12:01—Tuesday morning.  ARGH. I press the emergency stop button on the stairmaster and almost didn’t clean up the equipment…

I raced out of the gym and hurried home.  I decided to fall on my sword immediately and let the appropriate parties know I messed up. 

By the time I launched the campaign it was 12:35 am.  Technically— I was 35 minutes late— which isn’t too heinous. Besides Monday was the 4th of July. Most people are far away from being reached by my marketing campaigns.

I tried to console myself with reason but I was so disappointed with myself.  In the history of these campaigns I’ve never forgotten to launch one. 

I knew in my heart that it wasn’t life and death.  It would be ok.  The campaign wasn’t date sensitive.  I didn’t cause physical or mental harm to anyone.  This is a marketing campaign. 

I went to bed calm and without worry.

When I woke up I immediately thought of the marketing campaign.  I did my best to accept whatever consequences that would come my way.  I reminded myself that the affected individuals are reasonable human beings—and again, the delay of the campaign by one day might actually help in the long run. 

I got to work and no one complained. In fact, my associate said it was no big deal.  It was a non-issue.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used in this scenario are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Live in “day-tight compartments.”
How to face trouble:
a.      Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
b.      Prepare to accept the worst.
c.      Try to improve on the worst. 

How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 12.  If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. 

By day 101 of this blog, I am starting to catch on to the reality that it’s not worth worrying about circumstances I cannot change.  When I realized I messed up I decided to grab the bull by the horns—I accepted responsibility.  I also considered the matter—and was able to look at the big picture—this matter was a bigger problem in my mind than in reality.  Given this conclusion I decided to live in a day-tight compartment and do my best not to give this matter any more worry.  I saved myself a lot of grief!

This is why living in day-tight compartment is worth it. You don’t waste valuable time worrying about trivial matters.  You can focus on moving forward and growing as a person rather than stunting your growth by fixating on a mistake.

Day 96. Is your day on the fast track to crummy? Try this approach….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 96.  Thursday, June 30, 2011

My dear phone, don't go towards the light. Come back...

I woke up to the unexpected sound of the alarm clock on my iPhone.  I thought my iPhone was broken.  I quickly examined the phone.  Nope.  It’s still broken by my estimation. 

I did my best not to worry about the phone.  Besides… I have better things to panic about….

I had a photo shoot today across town—and as usual I was running late.  For the first time in my career I actually designed two garments for this photo shoot.  We have the perfect model to wear my creations.  She arrives at the studio in a half hour.  And to make matters worse, the garments are wrinkled and they are with me instead of at the studio. 

Traffic was a mess.  The exit I needed was closed so I had to take a detour on the highway.  I kept telling myself—“live in day-tight compartments.  If I’m late—I’m late.  It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.” 

I decided if I arrive too late the garments can be photographed at the next photo shoot.  No one is expecting these two garments anyway. 

I then calmed myself down by belting out my favorite song on my iPod.  I’m not a good singer but like everything I approach it with enthusiasm.  Suddenly traffic didn’t seem so bad.  And I was making ridiculously good time considering my destination was 40 miles away. 

“Please God, get me there soon”, I prayed.  “Please get me there by 9:15.”

Despite two detours I arrived at precisely 9:15 am.  I was 15 minutes late.  But I was pleased that I made my goal.  “Thank you God.  15 minutes is late but not horribly late.”

I walked into the studio with my two garments.  I prepared for the worst in terms of my peers’ reactions to the garments. I honestly had no idea if the garments were attractive. I made them—so I wasn’t a good judge.  I reminded myself that I did my best—but I might be better off at designing pillows.

I was greeted by everyone at the studio.  It turns out they were just getting started.  I wasn’t late.

I started apologizing for my feeble attempt at designing garments and suggested we not photograph them.  Their reaction was nothing but praise and encouragement.  They actually liked the garments. 

I quickly steamed the garments and our model tried them on.  I was stunned.  I made that?  And it actually looks decent?

I was talking to my associate between set changes—explaining to him that my iPhone was either dead or in limbo.  He asked me to show him the phone.

I pulled it out of my purse. 

“Turn it on”, he said.

I replied, “ok, but you’ll see that the Apple logo just stays on—it won’t get past that point.  And if it does it will advise I run the recovery mode.  I don’t want to lose all my photos….”

Some people post their children, their pets, scenic vacation destinations. I post my feet as wallpaper on my iPhone.

As I’m explaining all of this I glanced down and saw the prompt to enter my passcode.  I noticed my favorite screensaver was also displayed.

I nearly hugged my associate.  “It’s alive!”

Not only did I arrive at the studio before the photo shoot started, my garments were not only appreciated—they looked good on the model—and my iPhone “Lazarus” had come back from the dead.  Can life get any better?

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable. 
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
How to face trouble:
            A.  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
            B.  Prepare to accept the worst.
            C.  Try to improve on the worst.

I absolutely prepared for the worst today.  I knew it would be impossible for me to arrive on time to the studio.  I was also aware that my phone may very well be dead.  And I was bracing myself to have my two garments criticized by my peers.  Once I prepared for the worst—it was easy to move forward.  Imagine my excitement when the worst did not happen. 

Today was a GREAT day and I suspect it had everything to do with my outlook.  There was a ridiculous amount of work today and plenty of silly emails to review and countless details I did not consider important enough to share in this blog because none of these details affected me.  My day was GREAT no matter what. 

My lesson to you—sometimes there are unavoidable circumstances—like traffic jams, being late, etc.  It’s at this point you should take a deep breath and just accept the inevitable.  You can’t pull out a magic wand and zap the problem away.  And worrying and stressing over the problem won’t solve it.  Instead find ways to minimize the problem—and look for the positive.

In my case I celebrated being only 15 minutes late. There was a time not long ago I’d be irritated for being late at all.   Once a few positive things started happening to me today you’d think I won the lottory.  After that—the rest of the day was a breeze to deal with. 

When you take this approach—you’ll be able to reflect on the day’s events and how you handled them with a sense of accomplishment.  Control your outlook and you’re more likely to end the day on a positive note. 

Housekeeping /Notes:
You’re invited to read this week’s guest blog post by Tyrone.  He turned an ordinary visit to the library into an opportunity to use the Dale Carnegie principles.  Click here to read.

Day 84. I make lemonade for a living….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 84.  Friday, June 17, 2011
It was noon and I had enough of the day.  I turned off my computer and I left the building.

I decided to take a lunch.  I never take lunches.  I have a light “snack” at Starbucks everyday instead of a lunch.  But today was not an ordinary day.  I had to get out of the building for a change of scenery.

I ended up at Wendy’s.  I stood in line for a minute and determined it wasn’t worth the wait in line.  I returned to my car and sat there a few moments and prayed.

“Dear God.  I need a place to eat.  I don’t want to eat but I need a change of perspective.  I’m trying to make lemonade out of this ridiculously horrible day.”

That’s when it hit me.  McDonald’s has a new strawberry lemonade.  Although I hate everything that has lemon flavor I do happen to like this drink.  Besides, what a great pun!

As I drove to McDonald’s I gave myself a pep talk. 

Smiling Daffodil’s Pep Talk:  “I determine my own happiness.  I manufacture genuine happiness each and every day.  I will not let people’s thoughtless behaviors or unreasonable demands affect the outcome of my day.  I will profit from my losses.  I will expect ingratitude.  I will figure out how to use their carelessness towards me to my advantage.  I have succeeded at this for 83 days.  Today will be no different.  People are who they are and they will not change.  All I can do to cope with this is to change myself and how I react to people.” 

I arrived at McDonald’s full of hope and an open mind.  I was determined to find something positive at McDonald’s to change my outlook on the day.  There were a lot of families with their children and the children were quite… rambunctious.  I found this distracting and entertaining. 

Atypical lunch for the Smiling Daffodil

I ate my meal and lived in the moment trying to think of Dale Carnegie principles that would help me deal with my frustrations from the silly people I work with.  I even sent an SOS for prayers from a friend.  I don’t like to do that often… but today was one of those days.

I don’t know how it happened.  Was it the strawberry lemonade?  Perhaps the homemade lemon decorations all over the restaurant? 

Somehow the lemon decorations were endearing to this weathered daffodil...

Maybe it was the friendly manager that apologized for the noise of all the children. 

Maybe it was my resolve to turn this day into a good blog.  Or it was the prayers on my behalf that were kicking in.    

I have no idea what caused the change of perspective.  But I found myself calm.  I was able to reflect on the day and I resolved to stay focused and do my best to get through it. 

You see—I had two projects that had to get finished TODAY.  I can’t go home / go to sleep / have my weekend / etc until these two tasks are done.  No exceptions.  Normally I just have one of these projects on Fridays.  But today was special.  I had two disastrous, stressful projects to complete. 

And to top it off—management had TONS of changes to one of the projects.  I did my best to smile as they gave me their changes.  But it was very hard.  I felt so helpless trying to figure out how I could spin time out of straw.  My eyes betrayed me again—but this time I knew my best bet was to remove myself from the building, take a deep breath and figure out how to solve the extreme workload. 

I returned and the work was still there waiting for me.  It was a big heap of chaos on my desk.  I decided to delegate what I could and I slowly chipped away at all the details.

Surprisingly, I got my work complete in a calm, professional manner.  I gave appreciation where it was due.  Without my assistant I would not have been able to complete one of the projects without staying very late. 

There’s an assortment of Dale Carnegie principles I used today.  From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Pray.
Try to profit from your losses.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
Cooperate with the inevitable.

I knew there was no point in arguing or complaining about the absurd workload today.  I accepted the inevitable that I would have to work a very long, tedious and mentally draining day.  I reminded myself this is not the first time this has happened.  I have a successful track record of getting tedious projects finished.  I was also aware of my own impatience with absurd people—so I prayed and asked a friend for backup prayers.  In the end—everything worked out as things usually do. 

This is a long story but I hope it has value to you.  When you find yourself surrounded by very absurd people or circumstances and what’s worse—you’re the only one that can recognize the absurdity—these are the days that you really appreciate the value of living the Dale Carnegie principles.  These principles are not pie in the sky or overly optimistic and nauseating statements.  I have tested them.  They are real and they work.

Housekeeping / Notes:
If you missed a blog post or two this week, you are welcome to click on over to the Pictorial archive section.

Day 63. Place your bets now: A short-term loss will pay off on Tuesday and beyond.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 63.  Friday, May 27, 2011
It was roughly 4:45 pm.  Everyone is in “vacation” mode because it’s a three day weekend.  I met with my associate and asked how confident he felt about the upcoming video we are shooting on Tuesday.

He sighed. “I’m not feeling very good about it,” he said. 

I paused. I weighed the options in my head.  I took a deep breath and said, “you know—I realize it’s the weekend and you probably have plans with your family.  But maybe we should work on Monday (Memorial Day).  If it means we will be more prepared for Tuesday, I’m all for it.  Because come Tuesday, we will be too stressed with final preparations that creativity will probably go out the window.”

My associate agreed. 

So on Monday, a national holiday, we’ll be working—getting final preparations complete for our video on Tuesday.

The Dale Carnegie principle I employed is from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Do the very best you can.

I have been looking forward to a day off.  I’ve been pulling some very late nights.  There are a variety of art projects I want to work on in my personal time.  Heck, I just want to sleep!   Having a three day weekend is just what I need.  But I am also aware that if we are not prepared for this big shoot on Tuesday—the experience will be very unfortunate, very disappointing.  We must do our best.  And to do our best we must work on Monday.

There's no use hiding. Cooperate with the inevitable.

There is no use griping, complaining, weaseling out of or pretending that “things will work out” without actually putting forth the necessary effort to ensure things will indeed work out.  And as disappointing or irritating it is to have to sacrifice a much needed day off—in the end the organization will be better off for having prepared. 

When you accept the inevitable, you don’t waste your energy on negativity. Instead you focus on the tasks that need to get done and in the long run you will be a better person for it. 

(Full disclosure—this day by no stretch of the imagination was easy.  Even the Smiling Daffodil for all her efforts continues to struggle.  However, I can take a day off any day I choose.  So it’s not a complete loss.  Again, the goal is to minimize stress on Tuesday.  Place your bets now….)

Day 58. Take the time to enjoy the seaweed… an application of Dale Carnegie’s principles.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 58.  Sunday, May 22, 2011
My art conference ended at noon and I had three hours to spend before having to go to the airport.  The instructor in my class suggested I go to Newport Beach which surprisingly was just twenty minutes away!

Finally, my status as The Smiling Daffodil is paying off...ha

The hotel arranged a ride for me and I was off on a new adventure.  I wasn’t dressed for the beach—I had sneakers, jeans and one of my better dress shirts.  Before the driver dropped me off I mentioned my concern about getting back to the hotel.  He assured me there were plenty of taxis available and he gave me his business card. 

So we parted ways and I decided to do my best to live in the moment.  I saw plenty of restaurants and shops to occupy my time.  But then I got distracted by the beach….

I stripped my feet of my sneakers and socks.  I rolled up my jeans above my ankles.  I approached the beach with a look of wonder and excitement. 

As I approached the shore, I plopped my white purse and my tote of art supplies on the sand.  I figured if anything gets dirty surely it could be wiped clean.  Besides, I have other purses….

I got my feet wet and it wasn’t long before I was stalking the birds along the shore.  They were just too amazing not to photograph.  I was so engrossed with photographing the birds that no one around me existed.  I was oblivious to everything but the birds.  That’s when the waves came crashing… and now my jeans were wet up to my knees.  Instead of getting concerned about being a wet mess—I decided to accept the inevitable.  My knees, legs and toes will be dusted in sand, I will be wet and my purse and art supplies may end up sandy… but I will have my fun day at the beach.

One man's seaweed is another woman's art

I examined and photographed seaweed, seashells, rocks, the waves crashing against the rocks, beach sand, sand castles… everything. 

At the appropriate time I was able to flag down a taxi without difficulty.  It turned out “Marty” the cab driver doesn’t normally work until 6 pm but he felt compelled to begin his shift earlier that day.  I explained that he was the answer to my prayers.  He smiled and said— “well, you know, I do have a bible near my night stand….”

Marty dropped me off at the hotel promptly at 3 pm—just in time for the hotel shuttle to take me to the airport.  As I sat in the shuttle I reflected on the day.  I didn’t spend my day worrying about how I’d spend 3 hours.  I didn’t worry about transportation.  I didn’t worry about getting all dirty at the beach.  Instead I lived happily in the moment—being grateful for every moment of that afternoon.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Don’t fuss about trifles.
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.

I counted my blessings—I had free time to spend and I was able to spend it in a rather unexpected way… on a beach.  I didn’t worry about how I’d return to the hotel.  I didn’t worry about getting my jeans all wet.  I lived in the moment and had one of the best “traveling work days” in a long time. 

The lesson I hope to convey is that much of the stress, discontent and unhappiness surrounding a day can be self-inflicted.  You will discover how much a relief it can be to just live in the moment instead of worrying.  Count each blessing—no matter how small—and don’t waste a moment on petty worries like getting your jeans all wet from the ocean!  Instead—see it as blessing!  Wow—instead of being in Texas at this very moment, I’m on a beach in California with my feet covered in sand.  Does life get any better than this?

Housekeeping / Notes
Real daffodils fade but fortunately The Smiling Daffodil’s blog posts are timeless.  Catch up on archives.

Day 57. How Dale Carnegie helped me see the forest for the stitches… err trees….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 57.  Saturday, May 21, 2011
I had mixed feelings as I walked into my first art class today.  Did I bring the right supplies?  Can I fool my talented classmates into thinking I’m an artist like them? And the really important concern—can I bring my Starbucks Frappuccino into the classroom?

I asked hesitantly if I could bring my drink in.  The instructor and other students replied, “Of course!  We did!”

Class unfolded in such a wonderful way.  The instructor explained she’s rather laid back and there are few rules.  She encouraged us to learn her basic techniques then run with them.  Those were magic words. 

I approach paint with enthusiasm

We began by designing our own fabric using acrylic paints, watercolor pencils, markers and paintbrushes in various sizes.  The instructor explained not to get too attached to the piece of fabric—as we’d be cutting it up into small pieces, layering it and sewing it together in the second half of the class. 

I let loose on the fabric.  I even skipped lunch so that I could paint more yardage of fabric.  I was out of control.  My hands were covered in paint.  I was blissfully happy.

Surprisingly, most of the paint ended up on my hands instead of the fabric

When the second half of the class began, the instructor taught us the sewing techniques we needed. 

While I’m not an expert at sewing or with all the different machines—it’s not my first rodeo.  I was chomping at the bit to begin.  I was certain the second half of the class was going to be just as thrilling as the first half.

I sat down at the machine.  The machine technically worked.  But there is an art and science to setting up the machine.  My stitches were not turning out right.  I know they weren’t based on my experience proofing countless articles on the subject.  But I’m not an expert at this particular model of machine.  And it’s not my place to try to fix it. 

So as a student, I asked for help correcting the tension setting on the machine.  One of the assistants came over and explained it was fine.  I explained—“no—look at the stitches.”  She tried a setting continued to insist it was fine and she walked off.  I mumbled to myself.

I was irritated.  My machine, while it technically was ‘sewing’ it was sewing incorrectly.  It wasn’t user error.  It was machine error.  I started to shut down.  My wonderful little project was turning out horribly by my standards.  All I could see were the horrible stitches.  (white bobbin thread was visible on the top—in sewing terms this is a big offense).

I continued to struggle with the machine. I switched machines.  I even called my friend in another state to see if she could walk me through the tension problem on the machine. 

Nothing I did fixed the problem. 

I was irritated.  My feeling toward this blissfully wonderful class was turning into a bad experience.  Stupid machine.  Stupid thread.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I started talking to a student next to me.  I admired the progress she was making on her project.    Mainly—I wanted to see if she had nasty white bobbin thread on top of her fabric.  She had a little but not too bad.  And she wasn’t concerned about it.  She mentioned she was having a hard time quilting because she has rheumatoid arthritis.  She also said she wished she had painted more fabric like I did.  I gave her some of my prized painted fabric and encouraged her to cut up more if she’d like. 

Somehow talking to her diffused my tension.  I decided to accept the inevitable.  My art piece was going to have white bobbin thread on top.  I did everything I could to fix the problem—to no avail.  So the best option was to just take a deep breath and surrender to fun.  I put the foot pedal to the metal on the sewing machine and stitched aimlessly, carelessly through my layers of fabric. 

My fabric. My art. So there!

A few minutes into this process—I was having ridiculous fun again.  Another student walked by and she asked me if I’m a quilter.  I laughed and asked if someone paid her to say that.  (What I really wanted to say was— did Dale Carnegie put you up to that question?). 

The irony is that I wasted valuable time getting worked up about the thread.  I couldn’t see the forest from the trees—or in this case—the stitches from the art piece.  I was so caught up with the detail of the thread that I couldn’t recognize this experience for what it is—a very liberating, fun, artistic class with absolutely no rules and no criticism.

The Dale Carnegie lesson used is from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Create happiness for others.
Don’t fuss about trifles.

No matter how hard we try, sometimes there are circumstances we cannot change or improve upon in the exact way we want to fix them.  In these instances, take a deep breath and accept the inevitable.  Do what you can to make the best of a situation.  When you do this—you’ll find it’s a lot more bearable and in my scenario, I was able to end the class on a positive note.  Taking this approach is far more relaxing and a better way to end the day than fixating on trifles like slight imperfections in stitches.

(As a side note, the swirly, curvy, stitches were intentional.  It’s known as “stippling.”  I really do know how to stitch a straight stitch, but wasn’t trying)

Housekeeping / Notes:
Smiling Daffodil’s blog posts don’t fade!   Be sure to visit past blog posts you may have missed: 
Day 56.  How I let art supplies occupy too much of my time and what I did about it…
Pictorial of blog posts

Day 33. Part 2. Use Dale Carnegie Principles to recover from feeling like an idiot.

Despite my best efforts sometimes I can sleep through just about anything

As I mentioned in the Day 33 blog entry, I woke up late. I woke up so late—I nearly slept half the day away.  I got up at 11:40 am.  (Despite two alarm clocks and two text messages)

I was disgusted with myself.  This is not the first time I’ve done this. It’s not that I get in trouble at work.  Everyone finds it funny.  I guess people like to see flaws.  The perception of me is that I’m a hard worker—a workaholic. 

I made it to the office at 12:32.  I was frantic but glad to have made it in.

After realizing my lunch plans were cancelled with my friend I sat down at my desk. I realized it was lunch time.  I’m late for my Starbucks visit for my Java Chip Frappuccino.

I quietly snuck out of the office—I felt like such a loser.  Here I am—I slept half the day away, I waltz into the office super late—and then after a few minutes of being at the office I leave to get my Java Chip Frappuccino.  Talk about shame and guilt.

I left anyway because I know there’s no use in fighting it.  My routine is important.  I will be thinking of my Starbucks Frappuccino all day. 

I return to the office—Frappuccino in hand and feeling much better.  I ease into the day with enthusiasm.  Yes, I was super late.  But now I will recover with style—with enthusiasm.  I whizzed through several projects I had to work on.  I tackled some editing with gusto.  I whistled while I worked.  There was a general feeling of happiness coming from my office.

What I realized is that no one really cares that I was late.  It’s not that there aren’t standards or rules at the office.  But I have a reputation of working very hard—despite my occasional disasters of oversleeping.  The key to today—I approached the day with enthusiasm.  This distracted me from thinking I was an irresponsible adult for oversleeping.  And by the end of the day—I had gotten quite a lot of work complete!

The Dale Carnegie principles I used in this scenario:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Put enthusiasm into your work.
Cooperate with the inevitable. 
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
Try to profit from your losses.

Remember, sometimes stupid mistakes or silly accidents happen.  Rather than dwell on feeling like a fool or an idiot—profit from the experience.  Turn the circumstance into something positive.  See if you can get more work done in less time.  See if you can distract everyone by your productivity that they forget you came in late.  Remind yourself that you have a reputation for being reliable, a good worker, etc etc.  When you take this approach—you focus your energy in a more positive, forward thinking direction that is more beneficial to you than wallowing in your mistakes.

Day 33. The only reason I woke up today…my boss called me….Guess what Dale Carnegie principles I managed to use today!

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 33.  April 27, 2011
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing right beside my pillow.

Startled, I look at the phone.  It’s my boss calling.  I look at the time… It’s 11:40 am on Wednesday. 

I leap out of bed—frantic—and irritated that I overslept.  I called my boss back—and try my best to muster a voice that doesn’t sound groggy like I just woke up.

“Oh hi—I um—had a rough night.  Apparently I was super tired—and I overslept…” 

My boss responded in her usual generous way—”oh no!  Well, why don’t you just take the day off and rest up.”

I respond, “oh thank you—but I have a lunch meeting with Kelley today at noon… which is in 20 minutes….”   

My boss and I both laugh at the absurdity of my circumstance.  “I’m not sure how, but I will be there one way or another….”

So I race through my morning ritual of getting ready.  I said a few frantic prayers—please God, help me.  Please Guardian Angel—help me get ready.  This is not how I planned the day.”

Despite running late—I quickly check my email.  I see a couple of my friends posted comments on my blog… that was enough to lift my spirits.  Well, I guess it was worth staying up super late the night before to post the blog. 

I throw on fresh clean clothes—do my best to get the hairdo in decent shape and I run out of the house into my car. 

 “Please God… make me fly through the streets.  Please clear traffic.  Hurry.”

I decide my goal is to get there by 12:30—which is late but not too late. 

I race through the tollway—the speed limit is 70mph—which ordinarily seems way too fast—but today…. I’m pushing 75mph. 

New world record!

I manage to get to the office which is over 30 miles away… in 32 minutes!  Typically it takes 1 hour – 1:15 minutes to get to work.  If there’s rain…two hours. In snow or ice… three or more hours….

I’m so grateful I made it in record time.  I’m still pretty frantic—I literally just woke up—and my head is still groggy… and mildly aching. 

I walk in to the office looking for my poor friend Kelley who must be patiently waiting to have lunch with me.

No Kelley in sight.  I ask around—“has anyone seen Kelley?”

I sit down and check all my email.  That’s when I saw an email from Kelley… she woke up this morning feeling ill—so she had to cancel.  (She emailed 3 hours ago)

It was at this point I felt like a deflated balloon.  I took a deep breath.  I did my best to smile.  I decided to find humor in the rich irony.

I was so exhausted I felt like I melted...

You see—on Sunday I kept writing an email to send to my boss—but I just couldn’t hit send.  The email was to request a day off on Easter Monday.  (We had to work on Good Friday).  I not only wanted a day off—I needed a day off.  I have been exhausted.  My boss would gladly give me a day off but I just can’t bring myself to ask.  And there’s this pesky Dale Carnegie principle that keeps nagging me “Rest before you get tired”.  In talking to the UPS service rep yesterday she told me she spent the entire Sunday resting. I joked—yes, I’ve heard about that concept—what’s that like?  I just can’t seem to do it!  I’ve been chewing on the idea of a day off all week…

The Dale Carnegie principle I should have used today:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Get all the facts.

Instead of springing out of bed in a crazed panic—I should have paused… and reviewed all my emails. If I had—I could have agreed to my boss’s suggestion of taking a day off!

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Try to profit from your losses.
Pray.

I accepted I would be late this morning and just focused on minimizing how late.  Plus I knew Kelley would understand.  Once I realized the lunch plans were cancelled—I did my utmost to profit from my losses by trying to find humor in the irony of the circumstance.

So remember, before going into a crazed panic– slow down.  Take a deep breath.  Get all the facts.  Review the facts.  Then proceed calmly.  Otherwise you might miss an opportunity like I did of having a day off.  Also– before getting irritated when you receive ingratitude, lemons or a heap of something I cannot repeat… do your best to turn it into something positive.  Profit from your losses.  The easiest way to do this is to find humor — to find some silly irony in the moment.

Day 31. Dale Carnegie’s principles gave me courage to save Lassie’s relative. Part 1

Lassie's relative: Francis the Easter Dog

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 31.  April 25, 2011
It was 11 pm on Sunday.  The Easter festivities from the day were over.  I was going to pick up my workout clothes at home and head to the gym.  (I spent entire day trying to figure out how I could do two workouts in one day since I skipped my Saturday run at the gym).  So much for living in day-tight compartments.

There had been a severe storm with heavy winds and hail that evening.  It cleared up but it was still very wet outside.  As I reached the end of a street and stopped at the stop sign—I noticed a dog.  It was circling a parked car.  I looked around to see if there was an owner but the dog was by itself. 

I parked my car at the stop sign and got out of the car.  The dog came up to me immediately.  I was a bit scared… is it a dog… is it a coyote… after composing myself I confirmed it was the same type of dog from the old TV program— “Lassie”.  Ha! Certainly not a wild, fierce animal. 

It started circling my car.  The poor thing was scared.  I started talking to it—“where are your parents?  Do you know where you live?  What’s your name?”

Since it was a dog—clearly it couldn’t answer.  But it sure was friendly—it came up to me—and at one point I bravely stroked its fur.  I wasn’t sure what to do with the dog.  I couldn’t leave it alone.  But it’s 11 pm.  The neighborhood is asleep.

I said a prayer, “please God I don’t know what to do.  I am afraid of big dogs—and there’s no way I’m going to pick it up.”

I decided to open the back passenger door of my car.  If it’s meant that I get involved—the dog will enter the car without coaxing. 

 Well, the dog hopped right into my car. 

I closed the door, walked around to the driver’s side and entered my precious car that now has a wet dog inside.  I prayed the dog wasn’t waiting to bite me as I sat down.

Well, it sat there in the back seat, waiting for me to drive.  So I did.  I carried on a lengthy conversation with it as I drove.  I did this mainly to keep my nerves down as I figured out what I was supposed to do with a wet dog at 11 pm on Easter Sunday.  I was worried the dog was waiting for the right moment to jump on top of me and bite me or perhaps have an accident all over the interior of my car.  But it didn’t.  It just sat there. 

I headed into another city nearby—where there’s an animal hospital that is open all night.  I’m telling the dog about my own dog and some other dogs I know—and about the friendly animal hospital we are visiting.  I assure the dog we will find his parents. 

 As I pull into the animal hospital I explain to the dog that I will be right back.  I head into the hospital and open with:  “I may have lost my mind…. I never do things like this… I was driving home… there was a bad storm… and there was a lost dog… I couldn’t leave it….”

They assured me I did the right thing.  They gave me a leash and I returned to the car where the dog is waiting.  The dog is scared.  I am scared.  I try to get the leash on—but the dog decided to move to the driver’s seat.  I head to the front passenger’s seat—but am still scared of putting the leash around its neck.  I’m also scared of getting bitten. And I’m scared of fleas and ticks.  And what if it growls at me. 

I decide to embrace the inevitable.  I must get the dog out of my car with or without getting attacked.  I decided to talk to the dog who is still sitting nervously in the driver’s seat of my car.  With blind faith I picked him up.  I carried the shivering, wet dog inside the animal hospital—still talking to it assuring him it will be ok.  Oddly, between the dog and me—I think I was the braver, calmer one. 

I set him down and the vet gave him a dry towel.  It turned out the dog didn’t have a collar but he had a microchip embedded in him.  The vet explained that it will take at least a day for the microchip center to research the owner—and hopefully the microchip has current information. 

I gave the hospital all my contact information and they assured me they will do their best to find his owners.  The dog kept looking at me—as if we had bonded—I felt so sad leaving him there.  But the vet was very attentive and loving toward the dog.  He was in good hands.  They even mentioned they might take him home for the night.  I took several photos of the dog and assured him I would find his owners. 

By this time it’s midnight.  I realize that the gym is out of the question.  I decided that in the grand scheme of things—missing the gym for a second day in a row is not the end of the world.  And for this dog’s sake and the dog owners’ sake it was a necessary sacrifice. 

Sometimes events out of the norm give the right dose of perspective on what’s important.  I spent the entire day devising creative ways I could get two gym workout sessions done on Easter Sunday—of all days.  Despite all the planning and worrying—a new opportunity unfolded—as if to test my flexibility and to remind me to live in the moment and do what needs to be done.

 The Dale Carnegie principles I used:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
– How to face trouble:  
     * As yourself, “What’s the worst that can possibly happen?”
     * Prepare to accept the worst.
     * Try to improve on the worst.

– Cooperate with the inevitable.
– Pray. 

The Dale Carnegie principle that is a work in progress for me:
– Live in ‘day-tight compartments.’

This story is to be continued…