Day 105. The geckos made me do it.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 105.  Saturday, July 9, 2011
I woke up this morning and I was overwhelmed with the thought of geckos.  How will I survive this day with this one thought looming in my mind?

A Kniphofia plant (a.k.a. Red Hot Poker). Main features are its bright fiery blooms. I too was red hot trying to combat worry.

I put on some grubby clothes and decided to do yard work in 100+ degree weather.  This wasn’t delicate gardening—this was yard work.  I pruned the bushes, I weeded, I dug up a stubborn tree sapling.  I removed old wasps’ nests.  I was irritated with myself that I let these tasks go untouched for so long.  Then I contemplated if I’m lazy in these areas where else am I lazy?  This gave me a stronger resolve to continue my rampage. 

I took the battle into the garage where I cleaned and removed junk I have never touched in years. 

Then the battle for clean and organization went indoors.  I cleaned out closets.  I vacuumed.  I folded laundry.

I did this for about 7 hours today.  I’d like to say I didn’t think of geckos once during those 7 hours—but I did.  I had to deal with a couple of them in the garage.  But what is important to note is that my approach to this day worked. 

I was so irritated with myself that I’ve been too busy/distracted/lazy/not interested in being a homeowner.  I accepted this reality—because I was looking at it—overgrown bushes, weeds, laundry, clutter, etc.  But I also knew I didn’t have to accept living like this. In this process I distracted myself from my real fear that greeted me this morning “the g word”

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Keep busy.

My lesson to you—keeping busy is an excellent way to keep your worries and fears in check.  In my case, I was very productive—cleaning, weeding and creating organization out of my perceived crisis.

Day 104. Tiny geckos are not going to steal my peace.

I'm going to count my blessings this fellow doesn't live anywhere near my home.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 104.  Friday, July 8, 2011
Last night I was sitting quietly, working on my blog when I noticed two geckos in my living room.  They were in locations I could not reach.  I decided to do something that goes against my nature when it comes to critters in my home.  I accepted the inevitable.  I left them alone.  I knew I couldn’t get them without an hour long battle that might involve me moving all the furniture from the room and me getting up on a ladder with a broom in my hand.  Besides I had my blog to post. 

I suspect my technique of using mothballs in the garage is working too well.  The geckos are now taking shelter indoors.   

By the time I finished the blog I had encountered a total of 5 geckos in my home.  After “capturing” 4 out of the 5 creepy, nocturnal monsters I decided it was time to take even stronger action than mothballs.    

This morning I hired an exterminator to come “deal with the situation” on Tuesday. 

Until then I will do my best to apply Dale Carnegie’s principles from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Live in day-tight compartments
Pray (that I don’t end up on the TV program “Infestation”)
Keep busy.

This post is a little unconventional since the story isn’t over and Tuesday feels like decades from now.  I do believe that if I follow at least one of the principles I’ve listed I will enjoy the weekend and not spend all my time worrying about all the “what ifs” associated with the monsters that are invading my home.  What I can say is that I haven’t spotted a single gecko tonight.  So I’m going to count my blessings now!

My lesson to you with this story is to prove that there is a Dale Carnegie principle for just about every occasion!  I worry about everything—nothing is too large or in this case—too small.  But I am also aware that I cannot let my imagination get the best of me.  I must be proactive when faced with a potential 3-day WorryFest.  When you are aware of your inclination to worry you can apply Dale Carnegie’s principles and save yourself a lot of grief and wasted time.

Day 95. My approach to dealing with a broken iPhone required using Dale Carnegie principles

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 95.  Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I was placing my iPhone in my purse this morning when it slipped and fell on my tile floor.  I quickly picked up my phone talking gently to it…. “you’re ok phone. You’re going to be alright…”

I looked at it and it seemed fine.  The screen wasn’t cracked.  I was able to turn it on, check my email, etc.  I drove into work happily.

As I pulled into the parking lot at work I noticed my phone indicated “No Service.”

I considered what I believed the logical explanations for this problem:
Did I forget to pay the bill?  No.  Besides… it’s 9:40am—I’m doubtful the phone company pulls the plug at such a random time. 

Then I considered the possibility of sunspots affecting the satellites.  (Yes, I’m that crazy)

Well, the sunspot theory went out the window once I heard the beeps and dings coming from everyone’s iPhones at work.  I looked down at my phone eagerly waiting for a sign of life—and all I got was dead silence.

This is the time to dust off Dale Carnegie’s “live in day-tight compartments” principle.  Taking this approach is the complete opposite of my personality but I did my best to apply it anyway.

I even decided to accept the inevitable.  What’s the worst that can happen?  My phone is broken and I have to get a new phone.  I’ve been wanting an excuse to upgrade phones anyway…

Then there’s the small issue of my 2000+ photos that I have on my phone.  I haven’t backed up recently.  This was a big test of my ability to live in a day-tight compartment.  I reminded myself that the resolution quality of the photos isn’t as good as the photos I take with my regular digital camera.  So what’s the big deal?

Well, soon enough I got distracted with the pleasures of work—of all things!  My associate wanted some advice on choosing colors for an upcoming project she was making.  She even invited me to make a project.  So I did.  I became so enthralled and focused on my work that I didn’t spend a moment thinking about my iPhone and my lost photos. 

By evening I had put in a full day of work and was still enthralled with my task of making a project that I chose to stay late.  (as opposed to getting on the tollway and racing home to try and fix my iPhone).  I ended up making TWO projects instead of one—which was quite satisfying. 

When I finally did leave the office—I had my iPhone next to me.  That’s when my day was taking a downturn. I would glance down and see its blackened screen.  Traffic became stressful.  It was also terribly hot—it was a warm 97 degrees at 9:30pm.    I was hungry.  I was tired.  I was upset because my iPhone would not wake up.

That’s when I appreciated the value of keeping busy to avoid worrying.  I had been so busy at work today that I didn’t have time to worry about my phone.  But the moment my mind was left free to wander my thoughts quickly turned to my broken phone and every other conceivable annoyance.

The Dale Carnegie principles I was being thrust into today are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Live in “day-tight compartments”
Keep busy.

This was one of my last photos taken on my iPhone since the last backup. Got to love irony!

Today was not an easy day.  But I found that by keeping busy I was able to distract myself from my troubles and worries.  When you find yourself burdened by worry, fear or doubt—it helps to stay busy.  Put your worries in a “box” so to speak and engage in some activity.  In my case I had two projects that kept me busy.  When you take this approach you are able to use your time in a productive, healthy manner and you might gain some perspective in the process. You might even be able to find some humor in the day.

Housekeeping / Notes:
Today is your lucky day!  Guest blogger, “Tyrone” shares a story about his recent trip to the library and how he applied Dale Carnegie’s principles.  Click here to read his post.

Day 89: San Quentin, rotting fish and Dale Carnegie’s principle– “don’t fuss about trifles.”

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 89.  Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Last week I noticed one of my blog posts appeared when someone used a search engine.  This was not unusual.  But the phrase that the person used was unusual.  Someone typed the phrase:  “Why can’t you wear jeans at San Quentin?”  and my blog appeared in the results.  I have no idea how that happened.  It is true—sometimes it feels like I am in a prison—but I’ve never verbalized it.  (Oops!)

This morning I woke up and reached for my iPhone to review stats and search engine terms for my blog.  Sure enough—someone did a search and my blog post appeared in the results.  Although I was half asleep at the time—the phrase startled me completely awake:  “Dale Carnegie rot”.   

Rot?  

I thought—maybe someone can’t spell?  But I couldn’t think of an alternative word that was also positive… rotten, Rottweiler….

Since I was wide awake I got up and ready for the day.    

“Rot?”  I mean really?  I thought about the word way too much. 

I considered shutting down the lemonade stand—also known as my blog.  Someone thinks my stories are rot….

I struggled finding something to wear today.  I considered the fact that I have missed the gym for 5 days now.  I feel huge.  My blog and work are keeping me too busy to have time for the gym.  As it is I’m going to bed around 2 am.  I’m blissfully happy and productive but I’m also sleepy and I feel chunky. 

Maybe I should shut down the blog.  But then I remembered today is Guest Blog day.  I can’t let my friend down.  His blog proves the value of using the Dale Carnegie principles.  And if he was willing to be a guest blogger—surely then my blog isn’t “rot”. 

I considered the perspective of the person that typed “Dale Carnegie rot”.  Hmm… Yes… my stories can be a bit on the absurd, happy-go-lucky, pour on the extra sugar and syrup—sappy side. 

Yes, I can see how my writings might inspire the word “rot”. 

Hmm… I wonder which blog story came up in that search?  I concluded with sadness that all of them qualify for that description.

Well, I’m feeling fat, I have blemishes on my face, my hair is the wrong style, my house is a mess and my blog stories appear in search engines with the words “Dale Carnegie rot.”  Grumble.  This day doesn’t look so good.

So I decided to do the most logical thing.  I pulled out the Clorox and vacuum and I cleaned.  I amused myself thinking—it took the word “rot” to inspire me to clean.

Around this time I remembered some details I had forgotten about my own blog.  I had written a blog with the word “rot” in it.  My first blog was about a rotting fish.  It was the catalyst for me to begin this blog. 

It’s one of my favorite stories.  Instead of focusing on the malicious person who threw a large dead fish into my backyard to rot—I scooped it up, disposed of it and focused on making lemonade—by starting a blog.

Oddly, I have fond memories of the stench from that rotting fish.  The stench from that horribly rotten and fly infested fish—has become symbolic for me.  I take “rot” and other frustrations and try to find the positive and humor in them. 

So, a special thank you to whoever it was that searched “Dale Carnegie rot”.  I was inspired to clean the house and return to the gym.  (And I don’t think you were trying to imply my stories were bad.  I’m still trying to master the “get thicker skin” and “don’t assume the worst” principles by the way…)

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Get all the facts.
Keep busy.
Don’t fuss about trifles.

The lesson I hope you take from this story—you have the ability to control how you react to the day’s events.  Don’t jump to conclusions.  Don’t assume the worst about yourself or people’s opinions of you.  Simply don’t worry!

Do your best to look for the good, the humor—or my personal favorite—the irony of the day.  It makes the day more manageable and amusing.

As I type this blog and look back at how the rest of the day turned out—I had a really wonderful day!  To think I was going to let trifles get the best of me!

Housekeeping / Notes:
Be sure to read the post by my newest guest blogger, Esteban.  He not only makes lemonade but he demonstrates the qualities of a good father.  Click here to read his story.

Day 86. In retrospect, my gift was more like a macaroni art project….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 86.  Sunday, June 19, 2011
I was up late on Saturday.  I was frantic because I wasn’t certain I had a sewing needle in the house.  I can’t give an unfinished pillow as a gift with the stuffing falling out….

I painstakingly stitched the pillow closed—hoping no one would notice the imperfections with the crooked stitches.  I wrapped the finished pillow in tissue paper and was actually glad I took the time to make a gift instead of buy a gift card.

The colors for the pillow were chosen for a reason.  They had an Asian flair to them. 

I pride myself in my marketing skills.  But I failed at this task completely.  I presented the gift to the recipient and I think he was either embarrassed, puzzled or didn’t like it.  He thanked me.  I replied, “I made it.”  “Yes, I can see that.”

Some see food, others see art project. It's all about perspective....

In retrospect I should have thought about what is important to this person.  His likes, his preferences, his interests—instead of thinking he’d like a homemade pillow.  I felt dejected—thinking my pillow was the equivalent of a child’s macaroni art project. 

I was at a very important crossroad in my mind.  I decided to take a very sharp turn and create happiness for others instead of dwelling on everything that went wrong with this day. 

I remembered Walter—he’s divorced, his kids are grown and odds are he’s alone today.  I sent him a text message wishing him a Happy Father’s Day.  To my surprise, he immediately texted me back thanking me.

This was balm for my wounds.  So I sent another text—this time to Alejandro.  Alejandro has a stepson.  Every year that he’s been married I have wished him a Happy Father’s Day.  I am the only one in his life that wishes him a Happy Father’s Day.  He too responded back immediately—thanking me and pointing out yet again that I never fail at remembering year after year.

Last, I sent a text to another friend—Mustafa.  He’s divorced and has a little girl.  I’m always touched by his Facebook wall posts about his weekends with his daughter.  You can really see that he loves his daughter.  He also responded immediately.

For my final mental trick—I was leaving my home when I noticed my neighbors were packing their suburban.  The last time I saw my neighbor she was pregnant.  (You might remember the “Ode to the Rotting Fish story”)   Well, she has since had her baby—and I could see the baby seat in the car.  I rolled down my window and smiled.  Then I got out of my car and excitedly went to see the new baby.  I wished her husband a Happy Father’s Day. 

I’d like to say this day was a piece of cake.  I’d like to say that it’s easy to implement the Dale Carnegie principles every single day.  Some days are a real challenge.  However, through the entire process I was aware I had the tools I needed to get through the day.  I also have black and white proof—85 days to be exact—of implementing the principles. 

It is true I should have been more aware of the person’s interests when choosing a gift—and perhaps I could have marketed the homemade pillow better—pointing out the features and why it should be of interest or value. 

 On the bright side—as the day unfolded not as I planned—I knew I had potential for a good blog.  It was just up to me to figure out how to make lemonade from this day.  I knew I had to choose to make lemonade otherwise I’d have an unhappy day.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Create happiness for others.
Profit from your losses.
Keep busy.

From How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 17.  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

I hope you find value to this story for the right reasons.  My main objective in sharing it is not for sympathy.  Understand that people are who they are—and they don’t always realize the effects of their actions.  I’m among those people more often than not.  Knowing what disappointment feels like—I realize the need to be more appreciative of others for what they do for me.  Remember this the next time you are met with disappointment and learn to change your own behavior before pointing the blame at everyone else. The only person you can change is yourself and how you deal with situations. 

Incidentally, I made two more heart pillows today for no other reason than to keep my mind busy for my own sake.  And let me tell you…. they are stunning.  I might have to go into the pillow business if my lemonade stand doesn’t last. 

Housekeeping / Notes

• Coming soon!  Two guest blog posts!  Two of my favorite gentlemen have stepped up to the challenge.  More information coming soon.
• Don’t forget—mi casa es su casa (my home is your home).  There is always room for a guest blogger at the Smiling Daffodil’s blog home.  All are welcome.  You don’t even need skills at writing.  Click for more information.
• It was a busy weekend.  In case you missed a post, click on the Pictorial/Archive section. Thank you for reading my blog. 

Day 71. As Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz would say, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more”

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 71.  Saturday, June 4, 2011
This afternoon I did a quick Google search to find a museum that would interest me.  I couldn’t find anything.  So I decided to fill the car with gas, turn on my new GPS and drive without a plan.  I took one main highway and kept driving North. 

I had no idea where I was going.  My only objective—take photos of something.  Anything.  And take plenty.  I was calling it my photo scavenger hunt.  My first random stop—a town named Sherman.

I was a bit nervous deciphering the one-way streets through the main square.  I decided to park at the library and take photos of railroad signs across the street.  I saw a “No Trespassing” sign on one of the buildings that I was approaching.  But I justified my actions by deciding I’m on a public sidewalk.  So I snap to my heart’s somewhat nervous content.

As I headed back to my car, a woman from the library walked out and asked what I was taking a picture of.  My heart sank to my stomach.  I thought—geesh—they must have cameras in this very quiet, isolated part of town.  Do I really look that threatening?

I nervously search for words.   “I—um… I’m taking pictures of that railroad sign…. I cross my arms as if to indicate the sign.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed.”

She proceeds to ask why. 

I replied, “I’m taking photos for my blog… 365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles.”  (at this point I realize what a ridiculously long blog name I have).

I continued, “I am driving aimlessly today taking random photos.  I’m sure it sounds crazy….”

The woman replies—“no problem.  You see, my office is just right there beside the window and you are the 5^th person I have seen taking photos in that area.  I decided to finally get out of my office and ask what it is people are taking photos of and why.”

I smile with relief and walk back to my car. 

I continue to drive North.

I see a sign, “Durant.”  I think to myself—hmm… I’ll go there.  That’s when it occurred to me…. That’s not Durant, Texas.  I’m approaching Oklahoma! 

I took an exit and head to my new adventure in Durant:  Choctaw Casino Resort. 

I’m a little iffy on whether I’m wearing the right clothes.  I didn’t exactly plan to be seen this day.  But after glancing at the people entering the casino I determine I’ll fit right in—inasmuch as I would fit in at a casino….

I walk around the casino wide-eyed with fascination.  I went to the cashier—and true to my personality I say, “hi, um… is this where I get change?  I’ve never been here before….”  I half expect her to growl at me for sounding like an idiot but she greets me warmly and makes change for my 20 dollar bill.  She says you never know—you may have beginner’s luck.”

I head to one of the 1 cent slot machines.  I don’t have a clue what I’m doing but I’m feeling pretty bold and confident after drinking my free root beer soda.  I put 50 cents into the machine, pressed a few buttons and watched with fascination.  Why do people like this?   I thought to myself.

It's all about perspective ; )

I begin losing on this machine.  But then I won.  I won again.  And again.  I was trying to exhaust the money but I kept winning.  This was getting interesting.  When I reached $3.25 I decided it was time to quit while I was ahead.  My 45 minute adventure in the casino had come to an end. 

With my winnings burning a hole in my pocket I did the most logical thing I could think of.  I found a Starbucks and enjoyed a Java Chip Frappuccino. 

Sunset in June

On the way back home I chased a sunset with my car.  I was able to find a secluded open field where I could park the car, stand outside and watch the “show”.  I breathed in the intoxicating scent of wild flowers, listened to the birds chirping and lived in the moment. I thanked God for the wonderful day and all the thoughtful details that came along with it. 

I’m sure you’re wondering what Dale Carnegie principles I employed in today’s story.  They are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Keep busy.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Don’t worry about the past.

I had a difficult evening on Friday—and I was worried the effects would invade my Saturday and perhaps my Sunday.  With the help of at least three friends, I was able to renew my focus and determination and make today a great day. 

My lesson to you—there are people and circumstances that may succeed in dragging you down.  But you have the ability to pick yourself back up and create your own happiness.  The best way to achieve this goal is to keep busy.  Stay focused on the present moment.  In the event you do think on the past (as I do!) do it for one reason—to propel yourself to make the present all the more positive, meaningful and richer. 

Housekeeping / Notes:
I must thank three people and I’m going to break Dale Carnegie’s rules on names.  I am hoping you will be able to recognize your code names below.
Special thanks to:
Batman
Superman
Tofu Fairy

Day 35. I found a way to apply a Dale Carnegie principle by cleaning the bathroom…

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 35.  April 29, 2011
I woke up feeling melancholy.  I looked at myself in the mirror and tried smiling.  I wasn’t feeling it.  I knew my mood defied logic because I got more sleep than usual.  Yet I didn’t feel well rested at all.

My thoughts took various turns.  I thought of tomorrow—the day of my big 5K race.  I doubted whether I could actually run and succeed in the race.  I thought of the consolation prize that everyone receives—a nice big breakfast.  Nope—I wasn’t feeling very happy this morning.  Food couldn’t even list my spirits.  Should I even enter the race?  

I thought of my recent track record of waking up excited and in a good mood.  I tried to analyze what was different about today.  I remembered my past blogs of fighting for my happiness—proof that I am able to change my mood.  I just wasn’t feeling right today.

Then I wondered what I would write in today’s blog. Would there even be a blog?  Are my blog days over?  I have some great photos for the blog but there’s no story to tell.  I’m stuck in my box of unhappiness. 

I took a deep breath and prayed.  My prayers aren’t fancy or flowery.  They are straight to the point: “Dear God please help me.”   

Then I did something odd for my morning routine.  I decided to clean.  I vacuumed the house. Then I emptied the trash.  Then I cleaned the bathroom mirror and countertop and even… the toilet!  I think it was the moment I poured ammonia into the sink I completely woke up with a complete change of perspective.  ‘Wow…that is a strong chemical’—I thought to myself as I ran to the other room gasping for air.

Then I decided to fold laundry that was waiting for me in the dryer all week.  I counted my blessings as I folded the socks because most of the socks had matching pairs. 

This cleaning process took about 20 minutes—but did more good for me than I could have imagined.  I was focused on a goal—annihilate dirt, germs and clutter. As I finished getting myself ready I remembered a conversation I had with my friend Steve earlier this week about the upcoming 5K run.  He said with complete confidence that I would succeed.

As I was leaving the house—I looked at the now clean mirror and smiled.  Yes, I will run in that 5K race tomorrow.  And I will succeed and eat my victory breakfast and wear my victory t-shirt. 

The Dale Carnegie principles I used this morning:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Keep busy.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Pray.

Stuck in a box

I was a real skeptic this morning thinking I might have reached the end of my happiness parade but it turns out the Dale Carnegie principles continue to work.  You just have to be willing to exert effort into getting out of your box of unhappiness. 

It is true—you will not always wake up in a good mood—and in some ways I’m grateful I didn’t this morning.  It was a good challenge.     

Look around for opportunities to count your blessings in the circumstances and people you encounter.  Find ways to distract yourself—keep busy by doing the simplest of tasks—like cleaning or folding laundry.  Live in the moment and enjoy someone’s friendly invitation to sit for coffee—or laugh heartily at a funny email. You MUST look for these opportunities. 

When you take this approach you will discover you have the power to control your perspective of the day.  You determine whether or not you are happy.  No one else.

Day 21. Do you know someone that seems to live just to frustrate you? Try this approach.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 21.  April 15, 2011
I was in a meeting with an associate named Felix.  Felix began huffing and puffing—he was complaining about pretty much everything.  We were discussing upcoming projects that would involve some careful planning and every suggestion I made was shot down instantly. 

Before I took the Dale Carnegie course the scenario would have taken this path:

“What if we take this approach, Felix?”

Felix would reply, “No, that won’t work because of XYZ….”

Then Felix would proceed to talk on and on in a manner that would discourage me or that would get me fired up to defend my position.  Either way, the outcome was never a positive experience.  And after a few days, Felix would eventually come around to my way of thinking.  But until that day came, I would stew over Felix’s stinging, provoking words.  I would put way too much energy into thinking about Felix’s actions towards me. 

But having taken the Dale Carnegie course, the scenario happened differently.  To be clear, it was not easy to change my approach.  Old habits are not easy to break. 

I took a deep breath.  I let Felix do all the talking.  Mentally, I gave myself a pep talk as the man continued to breathe fire at me.  My demeanor was calm, peaceful.  I was standing firm in remaining professional and unaffected.  As Felix complained and noticed I wasn’t reacting, he seemed at a loss.  He had nothing more to say.  I didn’t give him what he wanted.  Instead my neutral reaction made him look foolish.  Once the storm of complaints passed from his lips—I responded in a calm tone by saying, “no problem.”  And I moved on to another subject matter.  Minutes later the meeting was over.  I returned to my desk, sat down and took a real deep breath.

Now for the real challenge.

Would I sit at my desk and stew over Felix’s words?  Would I let Felix have control over the outcome of the rest of my day?  I prayed I had enough inner strength to not let Felix steal my happiness.

I even went outside and picked a rose from a huge rose bush nearby.  I must have smelled the scent right out of that rose in an effort to control my thoughts and mood.  I returned to my office, rose in hand, turned on the radio to listen to my favorite tunes, and sat happily as I worked at my desk. 

Dale Carnegie helps me to smell the roses

I control my happiness.  Not any other human being.  Period. 

The Dale Carnegie principles I exercised today are from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 11.  Show respect for the other person’s opinion.  Never say “you’re wrong.”
Principle 15.  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:

• Keep busy.
• Don’t fuss about trifles.
• Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
• Expect ingratitude.
• Pray.
• Do the very best you can.

Even though today was not easy—I derive particular joy from my accomplishment of not letting another individual’s negative mood or behavior affect me.

Remember, the next time someone tries their best to drag you down with their words of criticism toward you, your work or of life in general—stay strong against their actions.  When you take this approach, you are taking positive action toward controlling how you want to live your life not how someone else wants you to live.

Day 15. Try this approach when your hair gets bushwacked by enormous scissors

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 15.  April 9, 2011 
It was Saturday, January 8, 2011.  My hairdresser wasn’t available—but another stylist was willing to cut my hair.  I didn’t think it was a big deal—it’s just a short haircut—surely anyone can cut my hair.  I showed the stylist a photo of my last haircut and explained I like it short but feminine.

This woman began cutting mercilessly, with what appeared to be trimmers that are meant for yard work.  (Yes, I mildly exaggerate, but these were some large scissors my hairdresser would never use on me). 

It looked like someone trimmed my hair with hedge shears...

At this time I was still enrolled in the Dale Carnegie course.  I reviewed the principles in my head and decided I’d trust this woman to cut my hair.  She’s a professional.  But halfway into this I did remind her politely—please be sure it’s still feminine….

When she was finished—I had super short, spiked hair.  She put gel in it to make sure those spikes would stick up.  I wanted to cry.  I clung to my Carnegie principles as best I could but the look on my face gave me away. 

I kept reminding myself it’s just hair and that I will have to be patient as it grows back.  The worst that can happen is that someone mistakes me for a boy.  So I solved this problem by wearing earrings, necklaces, mascara and a headband.  I also decided that if I smile maybe people will be distracted by the smile they won’t notice the horrible haircut. 

Fast forward to Saturday April 9, 2011.   My hair is finally long enough to get it cut by my trusted hairdresser.  As I watched my hairdresser cutting with focus and precision with her small scissors I reflected on the last three months.

Ironically, the last three months have been among the best:

• I graduated the Dale Carnegie course. 
• I had an incredibly successful business trip where I was able to use my new skills from the Dale Carnegie course.
• I’ve made some new contacts and new friends.
• New opportunities have opened up for me.
• I smiled far more than usual.

The Dale Carnegie principles I applied in this story included:
From How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 5.  Smile.

From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:

• Keep busy.
• Don’t fuss about trifles.
• Cooperate with the inevitable.
• Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
• Try to profit from your losses.

By applying the principles I accepted the reality of my bad haircut and focused on other activities and other people.  By doing this the bad haircut became a trivial matter. 

So remember, if you are faced with a disappointment figure out how to use it to your advantage.  Your life will be more fulfilling because you won’t waste your time and energy blaming circumstances or people for your unhappiness.