Day 115. I planned on making lemonade out of my disappointment.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 115.  Tuesday, July 19, 2011
This morning I woke up and prayed:  “Lord, I can see myself putting the Dale Carnegie books far out of reach and battling it out today.  Please help me.”

As I drove I did everything I could to convince myself that today’s meeting was not worth fighting over. I remembered Abraham Lincoln’s words—‘Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.’

I chewed on the fact that they have not had the luxury of taking a Dale Carnegie course.  I can’t blame them if they don’t behave the way I want them to.  I have taken the course and with that comes responsibility.  I cannot bring disgrace to Dale Carnegie graduates or the organization.  I must behave.  I must remain calm under pressure. 

I touched my necklace around my neck with tiny fish dangling from it.  I wear the fish necklace to remind me of my first blog—the day I found a rotting fish on my lawn. 

I profited from my losses and made four new friends clear across the planet.

I amused myself that I profited from my losses that day.  When life handed me lemons I made lemonade (or rather, life handed me a stinky, rotting fish and I made a blog).

I amused myself that this past weekend I fearlessly cleaned up a water heater closet that was full of gecko poop and I discovered I’m stronger than I think.

I don’t how these thoughts clicked in my head.  I guess I figured if I could do those things I can handle this meeting. I resolved to be as professional, kind and accommodating as I could in today’s meeting.  I would be sure that my eyes would not betray me.  I will not shut down when they criticize and complain.  I will expect ingratitude.  I prepared for the absolute worst.

The meeting happened at the end of the day.    

The meeting did not go as planned.  The individuals in the meeting were quite pleased and more importantly—they were appreciative of the work I did.  They indicated my work exceeded their expectations. 

The Dale Carnegie principles I used in this scenario are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Pray.
Expect ingratitude.
Do the very best you can.
How to face trouble:
A.  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
B.  Prepare to accept the worst.
C.  Try to improve on the worst.

To be clear—I’ve been waiting for this day for almost a year.  My workout at the gym last night was very intense.  I did everything I could to mentally and physically prepare myself for today’s carelessness and ingratitude.  I resolved that my best meant I had to be accommodating, patient and open-minded no matter what was thrown at me.  I put my heart and being into a project and I fully expected and prepared to get trampled on.  Instead I received a thank you. 

The lesson I hope you take from this story—the only person you can change is yourself.  Don’t expect others around you to change.  Don’t blame them for not changing.  Instead, figure out how you can adapt yourself to deal with the challenging people and circumstances around you.  Figure out how you can profit from your losses.  In my case—as I walked into the office I was fully prepared to leave at the end of the day with a story of how I made lemonade from the lemon of ingratitude I was handed. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised, grateful and relieved.  And yes, I celebrated by having dinner at my favorite Chick-fil-A

Housekeeping / Notes:
Thank you for reading my blog. 

Day 109. Take the time to notice someone’s absence and you will gain their loyalty.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 109.  Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I drove home on Tuesday evening, praying in a very direct way to God.

“Lord.  Please fix me.  I’m not in a good place.

I feel portly.  I’m eating like a horse.  I haven’t been to the gym in awhile.  My clothes aren’t fitting.  And there is chaos at work.  I’m doing my best Lord—but things aren’t working.  I feel like eating my way into oblivion.  I know the answer is the gym.  But I won’t go.” 

The next morning I checked my Facebook and noticed a wall post.  “Smiling Daffodil, I haven’t seen you in awhile at the gym…”

I didn’t expect a quick response from God—well, in this case, one of God’s tools—named Dr. House, my trainer. 

I decided to look at the facts:

• I haven’t been going to the gym—so yes, I am out of shape. 
• I had been working hard on a fitness program but most likely I have regressed.
• I have also been entertaining quite a bit of sugary foods.  And then there are those trips to McDonalds I’ve been blogging about….

I wondered if Dr. House would believe that I had been working out faithfully but then I got distracted with my blog.  On the other hand—I’m just giving excuses.  That’s probably all he hears as a trainer—excuses.  But surely I’m different?  My excuse is valid!  Ha.

I decided to just accept the inevitable.  I told Dr. House that I am fully prepared to fail the fitness test since I haven’t been faithful to the gym.

As is the custom—he looked at me and said—“you’re not going to fail the test.  You don’t fail at anything you do.”

Clearly I could not accept this statement—so I insisted, “no, no Doc—this time I really am going to fail.”

Dr. House wasn’t buying it.  And I had no idea why.  But I appreciated his confidence in me. 

I took the fitness test on the treadmill—and not only did I pass—I improved from my last test in March.  He also had scientific proof of why I’ve been eating a lot of sugary foods.  My body has been craving sugar.

My trainer pulled me out!

I left the gym feeling 2 feet taller, 10 pounds lighter, with a spring in my step and a big stupid grin on my face.

I bet you’re wondering what Dale Carnegie principles I used in this story?
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Get all the facts.
Pray.

It turns out that I was doing so well on my fitness program that taking some time off didn’t cause me to regress back to my fitness level in March.  I assumed I was very weak and had no self-control when it comes to sugar—but my system was craving it as a result of the intense workout program I had been on.  I assumed I was in poor condition.  My trainer said my heart was stronger than it has ever been. 

I bet you're thinking I'm Winnie the Pooh. Actually, I'm the Viking.

I didn’t have all my facts before today.  I just had a jumble of fears and concerns floating in my head that were discouraging me and stunting any chance for progress.  And these feelings were seeping into my daily outlook. 

When I got all the facts from my trainer—you can imagine my relief! 

So remember, don’t jump to conclusions.  Getting all the facts is the best way to correct a situation.  Once you have the facts, you are able to come up with a sound plan of action.  Can you imagine coming up with a plan with no facts?  Or with incorrect information?  This is not a good practice for home, work or anywhere. 

If I had continued with my original intense fitness program—I would not see improvement.  Based on my test results my program has to completely change in order to see progress.  Now I have a new program and I should see results in a matter of time. 

—
Housekeeping / Notes:
Dr. House—thank you for stepping up to the challenge of pulling me out of my box and setting new goals.
Mustafa—thank you for conspiring with Dr. House for the “intervention.”

Day 104. Tiny geckos are not going to steal my peace.

I'm going to count my blessings this fellow doesn't live anywhere near my home.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 104.  Friday, July 8, 2011
Last night I was sitting quietly, working on my blog when I noticed two geckos in my living room.  They were in locations I could not reach.  I decided to do something that goes against my nature when it comes to critters in my home.  I accepted the inevitable.  I left them alone.  I knew I couldn’t get them without an hour long battle that might involve me moving all the furniture from the room and me getting up on a ladder with a broom in my hand.  Besides I had my blog to post. 

I suspect my technique of using mothballs in the garage is working too well.  The geckos are now taking shelter indoors.   

By the time I finished the blog I had encountered a total of 5 geckos in my home.  After “capturing” 4 out of the 5 creepy, nocturnal monsters I decided it was time to take even stronger action than mothballs.    

This morning I hired an exterminator to come “deal with the situation” on Tuesday. 

Until then I will do my best to apply Dale Carnegie’s principles from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Live in day-tight compartments
Pray (that I don’t end up on the TV program “Infestation”)
Keep busy.

This post is a little unconventional since the story isn’t over and Tuesday feels like decades from now.  I do believe that if I follow at least one of the principles I’ve listed I will enjoy the weekend and not spend all my time worrying about all the “what ifs” associated with the monsters that are invading my home.  What I can say is that I haven’t spotted a single gecko tonight.  So I’m going to count my blessings now!

My lesson to you with this story is to prove that there is a Dale Carnegie principle for just about every occasion!  I worry about everything—nothing is too large or in this case—too small.  But I am also aware that I cannot let my imagination get the best of me.  I must be proactive when faced with a potential 3-day WorryFest.  When you are aware of your inclination to worry you can apply Dale Carnegie’s principles and save yourself a lot of grief and wasted time.

Day 102. The Smiling Daffodil almost went up in flames…until she employed some Dale Carnegie principles….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 102.  Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Everyone was on my last nerve today. 

I tried. I took a deep breath. I prayed. I listened to my favorite song again and again. I prayed some more. I immersed myself in my work.  And something must’ve worked.  Picture Niagara Falls turning into a tranquil, peaceful lake.  I was calm.

Don't be fooled by the calm... I see dark clouds coming!

Until the next set of interruptions….

“Smiling Daffodil, when is this event? What prize is next week? I need all the paperwork for XYZ by this Friday. I also don’t want any last minute requests from you Smiling Daffodil— I have a very busy month in August.” – said, several associates.

I’m a horrible person—because my thought process went like this:  It’s not about what you want.  Speak in terms of what interests me, silly!  Surely you have heard of Dale Carnegie. Use it on me! (I did not say these words out loud)

Disclaimer:  My reaction did not follow the Carnegie rules.   To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, people are who they are.  We would be the same if we were in their circumstances.  Plus Dale Carnegie said we can’t expect people to change.  All we can do is change ourselves.

Just light a match and the office would have exploded because of my frustration.

I tried to calm down.  I prayed. I felt my heart pounding.  I think my face was red.  I repeated one of my favorite Dale Carnegie principles—expect ingratitude. Expect ingratitude.  EXPECT INGRATITUDE!

I even repeated just one line from the “Our Father” prayer:  “give us this day, our daily bread.”  I reminded myself that I should be grateful for my daily bread.  (also known as burritos and Starbucks).  I shouldn’t complain I don’t have a giant warehouse of food/money.  I have enough to sustain me.  There are people that would gladly take my job and not utter one complaint. 

I decided to immerse myself in my work… because frankly I was enjoying my work.  Today I was working on one of the greatest contests in the history of contests. (my opinion of course!)  Just thinking about it shifted my focus from irritation to happiness….

This blog will be a bit unconventional. I’d like to tell you that once I focused on working on my contest that my workday ended with roses, rainbows and butterflies.  But I’m a very stubborn individual.  I might have a small frame but I tend to behave like an immovable mountain.

I continued to pray on the drive home.  I even sang my heart out while being stuck in traffic on the highway.  I did my best to pull myself out of my box of frustration—telling myself that tomorrow will be better. There are ups and downs to life. 

I got home, ate my burritos and have since calmed down from a very long day at work.  I am not really certain if I can claim I succeeded at applying Dale Carnegie principles.  What I do know—thank God I have the Dale Carnegie principles to lean on when I have frustrating days at work or in life in general.  Bad days do happen—it’s just part of life—but having the right tools to make these days a little easier is quite a blessing. 

I am a stickler for following the rules to my own blog—so let’s pin me down on some principles I employed:

From Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Pray.
Do the best you can.
Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.

I do think I did the best I could dealing with the 101 interruptions/requests today.  Unfortunately I fell a bit short… well maybe a lot short.  With more practice I might be able to handle these types of days a little better.  (I aim for incremental improvement—it’s an easier pill to swallow). 

If nothing else—I am profiting from my losses by sharing my struggles and how I deal with them with you my readers.  You’ll either think I’m nuts and find humor in it—or perhaps it will give you some perspective on areas in your life that you can appreciate more or even improve on. 

I am certain that we all have that tipping point where the day just goes from bad to worse.  Know that you are not alone in that experience.  Know that it is worth trying the techniques I used—prayer, doing the best you can, analyzing your own mistakes.  When you do this—your emotions and thoughts take a different, more constructive path.  I knew I was irritated—but I was also doing my best to find a creative and constructive way to calm myself down so that I would not lash out on anyone.  It took me awhile—but here I am… a nice, tranquil, peaceful pond… until tomorrow. Ha!

Housekeeping / Notes
Thank you everyone for reading my blog.  A special note of thanks to “Michelin Man’s Mom” I had no idea you were reading.  I am thrilled.  😉

Day 84. I make lemonade for a living….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 84.  Friday, June 17, 2011
It was noon and I had enough of the day.  I turned off my computer and I left the building.

I decided to take a lunch.  I never take lunches.  I have a light “snack” at Starbucks everyday instead of a lunch.  But today was not an ordinary day.  I had to get out of the building for a change of scenery.

I ended up at Wendy’s.  I stood in line for a minute and determined it wasn’t worth the wait in line.  I returned to my car and sat there a few moments and prayed.

“Dear God.  I need a place to eat.  I don’t want to eat but I need a change of perspective.  I’m trying to make lemonade out of this ridiculously horrible day.”

That’s when it hit me.  McDonald’s has a new strawberry lemonade.  Although I hate everything that has lemon flavor I do happen to like this drink.  Besides, what a great pun!

As I drove to McDonald’s I gave myself a pep talk. 

Smiling Daffodil’s Pep Talk:  “I determine my own happiness.  I manufacture genuine happiness each and every day.  I will not let people’s thoughtless behaviors or unreasonable demands affect the outcome of my day.  I will profit from my losses.  I will expect ingratitude.  I will figure out how to use their carelessness towards me to my advantage.  I have succeeded at this for 83 days.  Today will be no different.  People are who they are and they will not change.  All I can do to cope with this is to change myself and how I react to people.” 

I arrived at McDonald’s full of hope and an open mind.  I was determined to find something positive at McDonald’s to change my outlook on the day.  There were a lot of families with their children and the children were quite… rambunctious.  I found this distracting and entertaining. 

Atypical lunch for the Smiling Daffodil

I ate my meal and lived in the moment trying to think of Dale Carnegie principles that would help me deal with my frustrations from the silly people I work with.  I even sent an SOS for prayers from a friend.  I don’t like to do that often… but today was one of those days.

I don’t know how it happened.  Was it the strawberry lemonade?  Perhaps the homemade lemon decorations all over the restaurant? 

Somehow the lemon decorations were endearing to this weathered daffodil...

Maybe it was the friendly manager that apologized for the noise of all the children. 

Maybe it was my resolve to turn this day into a good blog.  Or it was the prayers on my behalf that were kicking in.    

I have no idea what caused the change of perspective.  But I found myself calm.  I was able to reflect on the day and I resolved to stay focused and do my best to get through it. 

You see—I had two projects that had to get finished TODAY.  I can’t go home / go to sleep / have my weekend / etc until these two tasks are done.  No exceptions.  Normally I just have one of these projects on Fridays.  But today was special.  I had two disastrous, stressful projects to complete. 

And to top it off—management had TONS of changes to one of the projects.  I did my best to smile as they gave me their changes.  But it was very hard.  I felt so helpless trying to figure out how I could spin time out of straw.  My eyes betrayed me again—but this time I knew my best bet was to remove myself from the building, take a deep breath and figure out how to solve the extreme workload. 

I returned and the work was still there waiting for me.  It was a big heap of chaos on my desk.  I decided to delegate what I could and I slowly chipped away at all the details.

Surprisingly, I got my work complete in a calm, professional manner.  I gave appreciation where it was due.  Without my assistant I would not have been able to complete one of the projects without staying very late. 

There’s an assortment of Dale Carnegie principles I used today.  From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Pray.
Try to profit from your losses.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
Cooperate with the inevitable.

I knew there was no point in arguing or complaining about the absurd workload today.  I accepted the inevitable that I would have to work a very long, tedious and mentally draining day.  I reminded myself this is not the first time this has happened.  I have a successful track record of getting tedious projects finished.  I was also aware of my own impatience with absurd people—so I prayed and asked a friend for backup prayers.  In the end—everything worked out as things usually do. 

This is a long story but I hope it has value to you.  When you find yourself surrounded by very absurd people or circumstances and what’s worse—you’re the only one that can recognize the absurdity—these are the days that you really appreciate the value of living the Dale Carnegie principles.  These principles are not pie in the sky or overly optimistic and nauseating statements.  I have tested them.  They are real and they work.

Housekeeping / Notes:
If you missed a blog post or two this week, you are welcome to click on over to the Pictorial archive section.

Day 71. As Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz would say, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more”

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 71.  Saturday, June 4, 2011
This afternoon I did a quick Google search to find a museum that would interest me.  I couldn’t find anything.  So I decided to fill the car with gas, turn on my new GPS and drive without a plan.  I took one main highway and kept driving North. 

I had no idea where I was going.  My only objective—take photos of something.  Anything.  And take plenty.  I was calling it my photo scavenger hunt.  My first random stop—a town named Sherman.

I was a bit nervous deciphering the one-way streets through the main square.  I decided to park at the library and take photos of railroad signs across the street.  I saw a “No Trespassing” sign on one of the buildings that I was approaching.  But I justified my actions by deciding I’m on a public sidewalk.  So I snap to my heart’s somewhat nervous content.

As I headed back to my car, a woman from the library walked out and asked what I was taking a picture of.  My heart sank to my stomach.  I thought—geesh—they must have cameras in this very quiet, isolated part of town.  Do I really look that threatening?

I nervously search for words.   “I—um… I’m taking pictures of that railroad sign…. I cross my arms as if to indicate the sign.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed.”

She proceeds to ask why. 

I replied, “I’m taking photos for my blog… 365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles.”  (at this point I realize what a ridiculously long blog name I have).

I continued, “I am driving aimlessly today taking random photos.  I’m sure it sounds crazy….”

The woman replies—“no problem.  You see, my office is just right there beside the window and you are the 5^th person I have seen taking photos in that area.  I decided to finally get out of my office and ask what it is people are taking photos of and why.”

I smile with relief and walk back to my car. 

I continue to drive North.

I see a sign, “Durant.”  I think to myself—hmm… I’ll go there.  That’s when it occurred to me…. That’s not Durant, Texas.  I’m approaching Oklahoma! 

I took an exit and head to my new adventure in Durant:  Choctaw Casino Resort. 

I’m a little iffy on whether I’m wearing the right clothes.  I didn’t exactly plan to be seen this day.  But after glancing at the people entering the casino I determine I’ll fit right in—inasmuch as I would fit in at a casino….

I walk around the casino wide-eyed with fascination.  I went to the cashier—and true to my personality I say, “hi, um… is this where I get change?  I’ve never been here before….”  I half expect her to growl at me for sounding like an idiot but she greets me warmly and makes change for my 20 dollar bill.  She says you never know—you may have beginner’s luck.”

I head to one of the 1 cent slot machines.  I don’t have a clue what I’m doing but I’m feeling pretty bold and confident after drinking my free root beer soda.  I put 50 cents into the machine, pressed a few buttons and watched with fascination.  Why do people like this?   I thought to myself.

It's all about perspective ; )

I begin losing on this machine.  But then I won.  I won again.  And again.  I was trying to exhaust the money but I kept winning.  This was getting interesting.  When I reached $3.25 I decided it was time to quit while I was ahead.  My 45 minute adventure in the casino had come to an end. 

With my winnings burning a hole in my pocket I did the most logical thing I could think of.  I found a Starbucks and enjoyed a Java Chip Frappuccino. 

Sunset in June

On the way back home I chased a sunset with my car.  I was able to find a secluded open field where I could park the car, stand outside and watch the “show”.  I breathed in the intoxicating scent of wild flowers, listened to the birds chirping and lived in the moment. I thanked God for the wonderful day and all the thoughtful details that came along with it. 

I’m sure you’re wondering what Dale Carnegie principles I employed in today’s story.  They are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Keep busy.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Don’t worry about the past.

I had a difficult evening on Friday—and I was worried the effects would invade my Saturday and perhaps my Sunday.  With the help of at least three friends, I was able to renew my focus and determination and make today a great day. 

My lesson to you—there are people and circumstances that may succeed in dragging you down.  But you have the ability to pick yourself back up and create your own happiness.  The best way to achieve this goal is to keep busy.  Stay focused on the present moment.  In the event you do think on the past (as I do!) do it for one reason—to propel yourself to make the present all the more positive, meaningful and richer. 

Housekeeping / Notes:
I must thank three people and I’m going to break Dale Carnegie’s rules on names.  I am hoping you will be able to recognize your code names below.
Special thanks to:
Batman
Superman
Tofu Fairy

Day 61. Dale Carnegie’s principles prevent road rage.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 61.  Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The wonders of perspective.

I was driving home from work considering my blog options for the evening. I was thinking— no I can’t write about that instance quite the way I want to— I need to keep this blog family friendly. (it was a very frustrating day).  I grumble to myself.

The route I drive home is a long street that spans several cities.  It has synchronized lights pretty much the entire journey. As I crossed an intersection with a fresh green light, going 45-50 mph—I spotted unusual movement from the left side of the intersection. It couldn’t be, I thought. I verified my green light. I tap slowly on the brakes….then I stomp on the brakes and blared my horn like my life depended on it.

The unusual movement I noticed was a car that turned left on a red light… into my lane.  I was certain the accident was unavoidable.

I have no idea how I stopped just short of rear ending the car. 

I was so tempted to follow her and tell her exactly what I thought of her.  I came very close.  I slowed the car down and quickly weighed the options.
I decided not to escalate the moment any more than she had done with her carelessness. I instead focused on the miracle of not rear ending her while going 45-50 mph.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Pray.

Despite being so shaken and upset by the driver I was very quick to thank God for protecting me. I was lucky to have noticed her. It was a busy intersection. I was lucky there wasn’t a car behind me—because I could have been rear ended in the process of avoiding an accident. 

The idiot driver who ran the red light was lucky she didn’t hit traffic that was in front of her. 

So remember, as bad as a day may have been at work it could always be worse.  So count your blessings and don’t dwell on your troubles.  When you take this approach the hassles of the day take on an insignificant role and you are left to focus on the important aspects in your life.

Day 35. I found a way to apply a Dale Carnegie principle by cleaning the bathroom…

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 35.  April 29, 2011
I woke up feeling melancholy.  I looked at myself in the mirror and tried smiling.  I wasn’t feeling it.  I knew my mood defied logic because I got more sleep than usual.  Yet I didn’t feel well rested at all.

My thoughts took various turns.  I thought of tomorrow—the day of my big 5K race.  I doubted whether I could actually run and succeed in the race.  I thought of the consolation prize that everyone receives—a nice big breakfast.  Nope—I wasn’t feeling very happy this morning.  Food couldn’t even list my spirits.  Should I even enter the race?  

I thought of my recent track record of waking up excited and in a good mood.  I tried to analyze what was different about today.  I remembered my past blogs of fighting for my happiness—proof that I am able to change my mood.  I just wasn’t feeling right today.

Then I wondered what I would write in today’s blog. Would there even be a blog?  Are my blog days over?  I have some great photos for the blog but there’s no story to tell.  I’m stuck in my box of unhappiness. 

I took a deep breath and prayed.  My prayers aren’t fancy or flowery.  They are straight to the point: “Dear God please help me.”   

Then I did something odd for my morning routine.  I decided to clean.  I vacuumed the house. Then I emptied the trash.  Then I cleaned the bathroom mirror and countertop and even… the toilet!  I think it was the moment I poured ammonia into the sink I completely woke up with a complete change of perspective.  ‘Wow…that is a strong chemical’—I thought to myself as I ran to the other room gasping for air.

Then I decided to fold laundry that was waiting for me in the dryer all week.  I counted my blessings as I folded the socks because most of the socks had matching pairs. 

This cleaning process took about 20 minutes—but did more good for me than I could have imagined.  I was focused on a goal—annihilate dirt, germs and clutter. As I finished getting myself ready I remembered a conversation I had with my friend Steve earlier this week about the upcoming 5K run.  He said with complete confidence that I would succeed.

As I was leaving the house—I looked at the now clean mirror and smiled.  Yes, I will run in that 5K race tomorrow.  And I will succeed and eat my victory breakfast and wear my victory t-shirt. 

The Dale Carnegie principles I used this morning:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Keep busy.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Pray.

Stuck in a box

I was a real skeptic this morning thinking I might have reached the end of my happiness parade but it turns out the Dale Carnegie principles continue to work.  You just have to be willing to exert effort into getting out of your box of unhappiness. 

It is true—you will not always wake up in a good mood—and in some ways I’m grateful I didn’t this morning.  It was a good challenge.     

Look around for opportunities to count your blessings in the circumstances and people you encounter.  Find ways to distract yourself—keep busy by doing the simplest of tasks—like cleaning or folding laundry.  Live in the moment and enjoy someone’s friendly invitation to sit for coffee—or laugh heartily at a funny email. You MUST look for these opportunities. 

When you take this approach you will discover you have the power to control your perspective of the day.  You determine whether or not you are happy.  No one else.

Day 33. The only reason I woke up today…my boss called me….Guess what Dale Carnegie principles I managed to use today!

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 33.  April 27, 2011
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing right beside my pillow.

Startled, I look at the phone.  It’s my boss calling.  I look at the time… It’s 11:40 am on Wednesday. 

I leap out of bed—frantic—and irritated that I overslept.  I called my boss back—and try my best to muster a voice that doesn’t sound groggy like I just woke up.

“Oh hi—I um—had a rough night.  Apparently I was super tired—and I overslept…” 

My boss responded in her usual generous way—”oh no!  Well, why don’t you just take the day off and rest up.”

I respond, “oh thank you—but I have a lunch meeting with Kelley today at noon… which is in 20 minutes….”   

My boss and I both laugh at the absurdity of my circumstance.  “I’m not sure how, but I will be there one way or another….”

So I race through my morning ritual of getting ready.  I said a few frantic prayers—please God, help me.  Please Guardian Angel—help me get ready.  This is not how I planned the day.”

Despite running late—I quickly check my email.  I see a couple of my friends posted comments on my blog… that was enough to lift my spirits.  Well, I guess it was worth staying up super late the night before to post the blog. 

I throw on fresh clean clothes—do my best to get the hairdo in decent shape and I run out of the house into my car. 

 “Please God… make me fly through the streets.  Please clear traffic.  Hurry.”

I decide my goal is to get there by 12:30—which is late but not too late. 

I race through the tollway—the speed limit is 70mph—which ordinarily seems way too fast—but today…. I’m pushing 75mph. 

New world record!

I manage to get to the office which is over 30 miles away… in 32 minutes!  Typically it takes 1 hour – 1:15 minutes to get to work.  If there’s rain…two hours. In snow or ice… three or more hours….

I’m so grateful I made it in record time.  I’m still pretty frantic—I literally just woke up—and my head is still groggy… and mildly aching. 

I walk in to the office looking for my poor friend Kelley who must be patiently waiting to have lunch with me.

No Kelley in sight.  I ask around—“has anyone seen Kelley?”

I sit down and check all my email.  That’s when I saw an email from Kelley… she woke up this morning feeling ill—so she had to cancel.  (She emailed 3 hours ago)

It was at this point I felt like a deflated balloon.  I took a deep breath.  I did my best to smile.  I decided to find humor in the rich irony.

I was so exhausted I felt like I melted...

You see—on Sunday I kept writing an email to send to my boss—but I just couldn’t hit send.  The email was to request a day off on Easter Monday.  (We had to work on Good Friday).  I not only wanted a day off—I needed a day off.  I have been exhausted.  My boss would gladly give me a day off but I just can’t bring myself to ask.  And there’s this pesky Dale Carnegie principle that keeps nagging me “Rest before you get tired”.  In talking to the UPS service rep yesterday she told me she spent the entire Sunday resting. I joked—yes, I’ve heard about that concept—what’s that like?  I just can’t seem to do it!  I’ve been chewing on the idea of a day off all week…

The Dale Carnegie principle I should have used today:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Get all the facts.

Instead of springing out of bed in a crazed panic—I should have paused… and reviewed all my emails. If I had—I could have agreed to my boss’s suggestion of taking a day off!

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable.
Try to profit from your losses.
Pray.

I accepted I would be late this morning and just focused on minimizing how late.  Plus I knew Kelley would understand.  Once I realized the lunch plans were cancelled—I did my utmost to profit from my losses by trying to find humor in the irony of the circumstance.

So remember, before going into a crazed panic– slow down.  Take a deep breath.  Get all the facts.  Review the facts.  Then proceed calmly.  Otherwise you might miss an opportunity like I did of having a day off.  Also– before getting irritated when you receive ingratitude, lemons or a heap of something I cannot repeat… do your best to turn it into something positive.  Profit from your losses.  The easiest way to do this is to find humor — to find some silly irony in the moment.

Day 31. Dale Carnegie’s principles gave me courage to save Lassie’s relative. Part 1

Lassie's relative: Francis the Easter Dog

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 31.  April 25, 2011
It was 11 pm on Sunday.  The Easter festivities from the day were over.  I was going to pick up my workout clothes at home and head to the gym.  (I spent entire day trying to figure out how I could do two workouts in one day since I skipped my Saturday run at the gym).  So much for living in day-tight compartments.

There had been a severe storm with heavy winds and hail that evening.  It cleared up but it was still very wet outside.  As I reached the end of a street and stopped at the stop sign—I noticed a dog.  It was circling a parked car.  I looked around to see if there was an owner but the dog was by itself. 

I parked my car at the stop sign and got out of the car.  The dog came up to me immediately.  I was a bit scared… is it a dog… is it a coyote… after composing myself I confirmed it was the same type of dog from the old TV program— “Lassie”.  Ha! Certainly not a wild, fierce animal. 

It started circling my car.  The poor thing was scared.  I started talking to it—“where are your parents?  Do you know where you live?  What’s your name?”

Since it was a dog—clearly it couldn’t answer.  But it sure was friendly—it came up to me—and at one point I bravely stroked its fur.  I wasn’t sure what to do with the dog.  I couldn’t leave it alone.  But it’s 11 pm.  The neighborhood is asleep.

I said a prayer, “please God I don’t know what to do.  I am afraid of big dogs—and there’s no way I’m going to pick it up.”

I decided to open the back passenger door of my car.  If it’s meant that I get involved—the dog will enter the car without coaxing. 

 Well, the dog hopped right into my car. 

I closed the door, walked around to the driver’s side and entered my precious car that now has a wet dog inside.  I prayed the dog wasn’t waiting to bite me as I sat down.

Well, it sat there in the back seat, waiting for me to drive.  So I did.  I carried on a lengthy conversation with it as I drove.  I did this mainly to keep my nerves down as I figured out what I was supposed to do with a wet dog at 11 pm on Easter Sunday.  I was worried the dog was waiting for the right moment to jump on top of me and bite me or perhaps have an accident all over the interior of my car.  But it didn’t.  It just sat there. 

I headed into another city nearby—where there’s an animal hospital that is open all night.  I’m telling the dog about my own dog and some other dogs I know—and about the friendly animal hospital we are visiting.  I assure the dog we will find his parents. 

 As I pull into the animal hospital I explain to the dog that I will be right back.  I head into the hospital and open with:  “I may have lost my mind…. I never do things like this… I was driving home… there was a bad storm… and there was a lost dog… I couldn’t leave it….”

They assured me I did the right thing.  They gave me a leash and I returned to the car where the dog is waiting.  The dog is scared.  I am scared.  I try to get the leash on—but the dog decided to move to the driver’s seat.  I head to the front passenger’s seat—but am still scared of putting the leash around its neck.  I’m also scared of getting bitten. And I’m scared of fleas and ticks.  And what if it growls at me. 

I decide to embrace the inevitable.  I must get the dog out of my car with or without getting attacked.  I decided to talk to the dog who is still sitting nervously in the driver’s seat of my car.  With blind faith I picked him up.  I carried the shivering, wet dog inside the animal hospital—still talking to it assuring him it will be ok.  Oddly, between the dog and me—I think I was the braver, calmer one. 

I set him down and the vet gave him a dry towel.  It turned out the dog didn’t have a collar but he had a microchip embedded in him.  The vet explained that it will take at least a day for the microchip center to research the owner—and hopefully the microchip has current information. 

I gave the hospital all my contact information and they assured me they will do their best to find his owners.  The dog kept looking at me—as if we had bonded—I felt so sad leaving him there.  But the vet was very attentive and loving toward the dog.  He was in good hands.  They even mentioned they might take him home for the night.  I took several photos of the dog and assured him I would find his owners. 

By this time it’s midnight.  I realize that the gym is out of the question.  I decided that in the grand scheme of things—missing the gym for a second day in a row is not the end of the world.  And for this dog’s sake and the dog owners’ sake it was a necessary sacrifice. 

Sometimes events out of the norm give the right dose of perspective on what’s important.  I spent the entire day devising creative ways I could get two gym workout sessions done on Easter Sunday—of all days.  Despite all the planning and worrying—a new opportunity unfolded—as if to test my flexibility and to remind me to live in the moment and do what needs to be done.

 The Dale Carnegie principles I used:
From How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
– How to face trouble:  
     * As yourself, “What’s the worst that can possibly happen?”
     * Prepare to accept the worst.
     * Try to improve on the worst.

– Cooperate with the inevitable.
– Pray. 

The Dale Carnegie principle that is a work in progress for me:
– Live in ‘day-tight compartments.’

This story is to be continued…