Day 98. As long as I bring a smile I bet I can get away dressing like this everywhere

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 98.  Saturday, July 2, 2011
I got dressed this morning—with one objective—to survive the 100+ degree weather.  I found a pair of shorts, t-shirt and my favorite pair of brown sneakers.  I like the sneakers because they are comfy, they are brown and they are the closest thing to “cool” I can get.  But I admit—with shorts—I look a bit like a 12 year old especially with the sneakers. I considered swapping out shoes—my running shoes—but they are strictly for the gym. 

“I am who I am” I think to myself as I look at myself in the full length mirror. 

I look a bit sloppy—considering I’m an adult.  But I’m only going to the movies.

I drove to the movies.  I ordered a small bag of popcorn (this is the main reason I like the movies).  I smiled and thanked the cashier.  He returned with a genuine smile.  He did not have the glazed over, I-have-to-be-courteous-even-though-I-don’t-want-to-be look.  His behavior was sincere.

I handed my movie ticket to the attendant and smiled and chatted with him.  He too returned with a genuine smile. 

As I walked down the hall toward where the movie was being shown—I couldn’t help but smile.  I proved my sloppy attire had nothing to do with how I would be treated.  I was friendly, made eye contact and smiled at the people I encountered.  Nothing else mattered.  Not even my t-shirt, shorts and brown sneakers. 

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 5.  Smile.

My lesson to you—try smiling and making eye contact with the people you encounter in your day to day life.  You will be amazed by the reactions you receive and life will be more interesting.

Housekeeping / Notes:
Catch up on previous blog posts by clicking here.
Learn how you can become a guest blogger by clicking here.
Read the most recent guest blog post by Tyrone by clicking here.

Day 96. Is your day on the fast track to crummy? Try this approach….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 96.  Thursday, June 30, 2011

My dear phone, don't go towards the light. Come back...

I woke up to the unexpected sound of the alarm clock on my iPhone.  I thought my iPhone was broken.  I quickly examined the phone.  Nope.  It’s still broken by my estimation. 

I did my best not to worry about the phone.  Besides… I have better things to panic about….

I had a photo shoot today across town—and as usual I was running late.  For the first time in my career I actually designed two garments for this photo shoot.  We have the perfect model to wear my creations.  She arrives at the studio in a half hour.  And to make matters worse, the garments are wrinkled and they are with me instead of at the studio. 

Traffic was a mess.  The exit I needed was closed so I had to take a detour on the highway.  I kept telling myself—“live in day-tight compartments.  If I’m late—I’m late.  It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.” 

I decided if I arrive too late the garments can be photographed at the next photo shoot.  No one is expecting these two garments anyway. 

I then calmed myself down by belting out my favorite song on my iPod.  I’m not a good singer but like everything I approach it with enthusiasm.  Suddenly traffic didn’t seem so bad.  And I was making ridiculously good time considering my destination was 40 miles away. 

“Please God, get me there soon”, I prayed.  “Please get me there by 9:15.”

Despite two detours I arrived at precisely 9:15 am.  I was 15 minutes late.  But I was pleased that I made my goal.  “Thank you God.  15 minutes is late but not horribly late.”

I walked into the studio with my two garments.  I prepared for the worst in terms of my peers’ reactions to the garments. I honestly had no idea if the garments were attractive. I made them—so I wasn’t a good judge.  I reminded myself that I did my best—but I might be better off at designing pillows.

I was greeted by everyone at the studio.  It turns out they were just getting started.  I wasn’t late.

I started apologizing for my feeble attempt at designing garments and suggested we not photograph them.  Their reaction was nothing but praise and encouragement.  They actually liked the garments. 

I quickly steamed the garments and our model tried them on.  I was stunned.  I made that?  And it actually looks decent?

I was talking to my associate between set changes—explaining to him that my iPhone was either dead or in limbo.  He asked me to show him the phone.

I pulled it out of my purse. 

“Turn it on”, he said.

I replied, “ok, but you’ll see that the Apple logo just stays on—it won’t get past that point.  And if it does it will advise I run the recovery mode.  I don’t want to lose all my photos….”

Some people post their children, their pets, scenic vacation destinations. I post my feet as wallpaper on my iPhone.

As I’m explaining all of this I glanced down and saw the prompt to enter my passcode.  I noticed my favorite screensaver was also displayed.

I nearly hugged my associate.  “It’s alive!”

Not only did I arrive at the studio before the photo shoot started, my garments were not only appreciated—they looked good on the model—and my iPhone “Lazarus” had come back from the dead.  Can life get any better?

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Cooperate with the inevitable. 
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
How to face trouble:
            A.  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
            B.  Prepare to accept the worst.
            C.  Try to improve on the worst.

I absolutely prepared for the worst today.  I knew it would be impossible for me to arrive on time to the studio.  I was also aware that my phone may very well be dead.  And I was bracing myself to have my two garments criticized by my peers.  Once I prepared for the worst—it was easy to move forward.  Imagine my excitement when the worst did not happen. 

Today was a GREAT day and I suspect it had everything to do with my outlook.  There was a ridiculous amount of work today and plenty of silly emails to review and countless details I did not consider important enough to share in this blog because none of these details affected me.  My day was GREAT no matter what. 

My lesson to you—sometimes there are unavoidable circumstances—like traffic jams, being late, etc.  It’s at this point you should take a deep breath and just accept the inevitable.  You can’t pull out a magic wand and zap the problem away.  And worrying and stressing over the problem won’t solve it.  Instead find ways to minimize the problem—and look for the positive.

In my case I celebrated being only 15 minutes late. There was a time not long ago I’d be irritated for being late at all.   Once a few positive things started happening to me today you’d think I won the lottory.  After that—the rest of the day was a breeze to deal with. 

When you take this approach—you’ll be able to reflect on the day’s events and how you handled them with a sense of accomplishment.  Control your outlook and you’re more likely to end the day on a positive note. 

Housekeeping /Notes:
You’re invited to read this week’s guest blog post by Tyrone.  He turned an ordinary visit to the library into an opportunity to use the Dale Carnegie principles.  Click here to read.

Day 93. A visit to Starbucks reminded me to dust off some Dale Carnegie principles….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 93.  Monday, June 27, 2011
This morning a friend of mine, “Melanie” announced she was engaged.  This piece of news threw me off—and not for the reasons you might suspect. 

I am a detail-oriented person.  I like to fit puzzle pieces together. 

Instead of jumping up and down or smiling ear to ear—I was struck by the irony.  I had just visited some friends two days ago.  They asked about Melanie and if she was engaged or married yet.  This is not a common topic of discussion so the timing of these events was fascinating to me.  But understand—all of these ponderings were going on in my head. 

On the bright side I did have the decency to smile and congratulate my friend. 

Somehow we got completely off topic and after ten minutes we had covered a variety of topics—none of which had to do with the engagement or the wedding. 

Later that morning I was standing in line at my favorite little coffee shop.  I was thinking about my friend’s engagement.  I realized I probably messed up with my low key reaction. I’m not the type to jump up and down with excitement – yet I felt bad that I didn’t for my friend’s sake.  I didn’t have 101 questions about the wedding—mainly because I was too focused on the irony that she was a recent topic of discussion.

Yummy cake pops from Starbucks.

I tried to see things from my friend’s perspective.  The fact that she told me immediately this morning indicated this was at the top of her list.  I wanted to find a way to make the day special for her. I decided to order a special pastry at Starbucks—something I order only on important occasions or when I really have a bad day….

I returned to the office with a cellophane bag with the special pastry.  My friend looked at me and asked, “what’s this?”

I replied, “this is a cake pop from Starbucks to celebrate your engagement.”

She smiled and thanked me. 

Later that afternoon Melanie said to me, “Wow! This pastry tastes great!”

I said—”so glad you liked it.  I joked with her saying I got the “Birthday Cake” version even though I know you prefer chocolate.  I just couldn’t bear to buy the “Rocky Road” cake pop to celebrate your engagement.  I wouldn’t want to jinx your marriage!”

Melanie smiled and said, “good thinking.”

The Dale Carnegie principles I usually forget to use is from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 9.  Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
Principle 4.  Become genuinely interested in other people. 

When I realized my lack of enthusiasm and excitement for my friend I felt really bad.  I’m not a naturally boisterous, outspoken individual—nor am I the touchy, feely, hugging type.  I’m more the over-thinking, detail-oriented, stoic type.  But this engagement is a milestone for my friend and should be celebrated.  I did what I could in a sincere way to celebrate her day.  It wasn’t just a cake pop—it was the right cake pop for the occasion—a cake pop to celebrate my friend entering a new stage in her life—while also leaving rocky roads with challenging relationships where they belong… in the past. 

So my lesson to you—yes, there is one somewhere in this story…

There is a way to be yourself while also becoming interested in other people and making them feel important.  If you are anyone but yourself—neither of these two principles will work because your words and actions won’t be sincere.  When you take this approach you will find people will not only accept you, your quirks and imperfections—they will be drawn to you—because of your sincere interest in them. 

I hope this makes sense. 

Housekeeping / Notes
Mark your calendars!  This Wednesday is Guest Blogger Wednesday! 
If you missed last Wednesday’s guest blog post by Esteban, here’s your chance to catch up.  Click here.

If you’ve been busy or are new to the blog, I have a handy archives section set up for you to catch up on past blog posts.  Click here.

Day 88. Let the other person save face.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 88.  Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Today I was reviewing the task list and noticed that “Bob” a contract employee had not submitted his work.  Although he has known about the assignment for at least a month and a half he missed the deadline.  He didn’t even contact me to let me know there was a problem or that the assignment would be turned in late.  Nothing! 

I knew this was an opportunity for a particular Dale Carnegie principle that I’m not very good at using.  So I decided to send Bob an email:

Hi Bob,
I wanted to check in with you and see how you are coming along on the XYZ project.  I can’t wait to see it.  Send me an email when you get a chance.   

Sincerely,
Smiling Daffodil. 

——
I heard from Bob right away:

“Dear Smiling Daffodil,
I am ashamed to say I didn’t complete the task.  I’ve been burdened trying to figure out how to complete it.  I feel really bad about it—it’s not my best work.  I have attached a preview of what I have done so far—tell me the truth—if you think I should throw it away and start over let me know.

Very sincerely,
Bob-who-didn’t-complete-his-task-and-feels-bad-about-being-the-difficult-contract-employee”

——
Well—how could I not smile with such a funny and overly dramatic email from Bob? 

He offered some other details about why he was having a hard time with the assignment.  Having this information served two purposes.  I was able to get all the facts before jumping to the wrong conclusion that Bob was just a careless, irresponsible employee.  And I was able to give Bob some encouragement and the opportunity to save face.

My response to Bob:
Dear Bob,
I am sorry you struggled with this assignment!  I reviewed what you sent and so far it looks great!  Yes, please go ahead and complete the assignment—but work at your own pace and once you are finished I will find make sure we use your work.

Sincerely,
Smiling Daffodil

I also volunteered some tips by pointing to my own challenges and struggles with similar projects. 

Bob responded and expressed great relief and appreciation for the tips.  He also told me he will finish the task and submit his work by the end of the week.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used in this story are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Get all the facts.
Let the other person save face.

Let the other person save face

I chose not to send a frustrated or angry email to Bob explaining how his delay has caused challenges for me.  Bob has his own concerns—he probably doesn’t care about mine.  So I decided to get all the facts before making assumptions.  When I did this—I was able to learn that Bob was discouraged with his work and I was able to give him the encouragement he needed to complete the assignment.

So remember, while it is easy to jump to conclusions—don’t.  Get all the facts first.  Treat individuals with respect and don’t belittle them as you get all the facts.  When you do this you will discover ways to give them the encouragement they need to willingly complete their work. 

Housekeeping / Notes:

• In light of today’s blog topic I feel the need to confess.  My posts are technically a day off.  I’m a night owl—by the time I write my blog about the day’s events it’s technically the next morning—usually 1 or 2 am.  Let’s just continue to go with my delusions.  In my world I make my deadlines….
• With that said, Wednesday marks an important day for a very special guest blogger.  I’m so excited to share the story and technically it’s ready to be posted…. but I’m going to make everyone wait until Wednesday evening.  So do your evening routine, have dinner, etc and then tune in for a very high quality story from a friend and role model.  I am certain his story will impact you. 

Thank you everyone!

Day 87. I didn’t have to work hard to make lemonade. The law of averages served me well.

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 87.  Monday, June 20, 2011
I was a bit confused when I looked at the time this morning.  It was 7 am.  I either woke up too early for the weekend or maybe I’ll be on time for work.  I had to look at the calendar to see what day it was.  Oh, it’s Monday… I decided to get up anyway.

As I was pulling out of my driveway I noticed my neighbors hadn’t put their trash bin out by the curb for trash pick up day.  I also noticed their trash bin was very full.  I debated whether I should do them a favor and put their trash bin out or just mind my own business.

I got out of my car and rolled their trash bin by the curb.

As I continued on my drive to work a very strange sequence of events happened. 

I say strange—because it was Monday. 

I received a very touching email from Anthony—an old friend of mine.  He thanked me for my blog and mentioned he shared it with his family on Father’s Day.  On Father’s Day!  If you read my Father’s Day blog post about my macaroni art project you’ll understand what Anthony’s email meant to me.  I thanked God for Anthony’s thoughtfulness, empathy and really excellent timing.  His last words alluded to the fact that he hopes I have an unusually good Monday.  I read that and thought—oh I hope you are right Anthony.  So far we are on a good track but I haven’t arrived at work yet.

I was making good time in my commute to work so I decided to stop by the grocery store to buy some macaroni and other food items to donate for a local food drive at my Starbucks.  Despite holding up the line at the grocery store—everyone was friendly towards me and smiling.  It was really bazaar.  Why is everyone so nice to me? 

Next I arrived at work on time.  That in itself is a monumental accomplishment.  I hesitantly showed my newest heart pillow creations to an associate.  She LOVED them.  I walked back to my office and thanked God.  This is all I wanted from her last week and I got it today.  Perhaps Anthony was right about this day.

Next I heard from my two guest bloggers—who really didn’t realize, expect or believe I was serious when I said their stories would be perfect for my blog.  I was stunned that neither one of them could recognize the value of their stories.  After we talked—they both agreed and seemed to be excited.  I sat and relished the idea that my dinky lemonade stand is now recruiting “employees” and “business” seems to be good. 

Even a coworker whom I haven’t gotten along with for quite some time now was showing me appreciation, kindness and encouragement today.

The day continued in this fashion.  Little pieces of good moments kept falling in my lap.   At the end of the day, encouraged by my associate—I experimented with a couple more sewing techniques.  I started yet another sewing project that is going to be ridiculously cute by the time I’m finished with it.  I don’t know what the finished project will be yet but believe it or not—I might try something other than a pillow.

As I was driving home along the tollway I thanked God for making an unusually good Monday. 

Recognize blessings among the clutter

As I was doing this—I glanced over and noticed the sky.  Despite the cluttered landscape with water towers, electric towers, buildings, highways and overpasses being built, you could see the sky was a dark blue with shades of pink along the horizon.  It was so stunning it was ridiculous.  “Dear God—what were you thinking when you made that sunset?  I hope I’m not the only one driving home that notices your handiwork.”

I took all sorts of detours on the drive home just to get photos of the sky. 

Sometimes you have to look for the good hidden among the clutter, stress and chaos of a day.  If you don’t put effort into it—you will miss out on opportunities to find happiness and fulfillment in the everyday. 

I realize I have rambled quite a bit here.  And like you I’m wondering if there’s a purpose to today’s blog.  (ha)  Of course there is!

The Dale Carnegie principles I used are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: 
Don’t worry about the past.
Count your blessings—not your troubles.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. 

It sure feels like a great deal of last week was crummy—or at least the last few days.  I had to do some mental acrobatics to apply the Dale Carnegie principles. 

Today was the complete opposite. 

When you have a bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year… consider the law of averages.  Things will balance out.  You will have a good day, a good week, a good month, a good year. 

One way to ensure this—do your best not to dwell on the past (I know this is hard)… and also count your blessings (this one is easy).  Look for all the large and small blessings that come your way.  Take the time to appreciate these blessings.  Look for the good.  Maybe it’s a sunset.  Maybe it’s an encouraging email from a friend or perhaps it’s a patient cashier at a grocery store.  Maybe it’s doing a random act of kindness like putting your neighbor’s trash bin by the curb on trash day.  Or donating food for a food pantry.  The blessings and opportunities are there—you just have to recognize them and act upon them.

When you take these measures—you pretty much guarantee a more positive outlook on the day. 

– Thank you Anthony for pushing me in the right direction.

Housekeeping / Notes:
– Mark your calendars!  Wednesday will be the debut of a very special guest blogger and friend.  I can’t wait for you to meet him through his story. 
–  Stop by the Archive / Pictorial section if you missed a story or want to reread a past blog.
– Feedback / Suggestions / Comments:  If you have ideas on how to improve the daffodil garden of blog stories let me know.  Also feel free to spread the love and share a link or two with family, friends, coworkers, etc. 

I know your time is valuable.  Thank you for reading my blog.

Day 86. In retrospect, my gift was more like a macaroni art project….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 86.  Sunday, June 19, 2011
I was up late on Saturday.  I was frantic because I wasn’t certain I had a sewing needle in the house.  I can’t give an unfinished pillow as a gift with the stuffing falling out….

I painstakingly stitched the pillow closed—hoping no one would notice the imperfections with the crooked stitches.  I wrapped the finished pillow in tissue paper and was actually glad I took the time to make a gift instead of buy a gift card.

The colors for the pillow were chosen for a reason.  They had an Asian flair to them. 

I pride myself in my marketing skills.  But I failed at this task completely.  I presented the gift to the recipient and I think he was either embarrassed, puzzled or didn’t like it.  He thanked me.  I replied, “I made it.”  “Yes, I can see that.”

Some see food, others see art project. It's all about perspective....

In retrospect I should have thought about what is important to this person.  His likes, his preferences, his interests—instead of thinking he’d like a homemade pillow.  I felt dejected—thinking my pillow was the equivalent of a child’s macaroni art project. 

I was at a very important crossroad in my mind.  I decided to take a very sharp turn and create happiness for others instead of dwelling on everything that went wrong with this day. 

I remembered Walter—he’s divorced, his kids are grown and odds are he’s alone today.  I sent him a text message wishing him a Happy Father’s Day.  To my surprise, he immediately texted me back thanking me.

This was balm for my wounds.  So I sent another text—this time to Alejandro.  Alejandro has a stepson.  Every year that he’s been married I have wished him a Happy Father’s Day.  I am the only one in his life that wishes him a Happy Father’s Day.  He too responded back immediately—thanking me and pointing out yet again that I never fail at remembering year after year.

Last, I sent a text to another friend—Mustafa.  He’s divorced and has a little girl.  I’m always touched by his Facebook wall posts about his weekends with his daughter.  You can really see that he loves his daughter.  He also responded immediately.

For my final mental trick—I was leaving my home when I noticed my neighbors were packing their suburban.  The last time I saw my neighbor she was pregnant.  (You might remember the “Ode to the Rotting Fish story”)   Well, she has since had her baby—and I could see the baby seat in the car.  I rolled down my window and smiled.  Then I got out of my car and excitedly went to see the new baby.  I wished her husband a Happy Father’s Day. 

I’d like to say this day was a piece of cake.  I’d like to say that it’s easy to implement the Dale Carnegie principles every single day.  Some days are a real challenge.  However, through the entire process I was aware I had the tools I needed to get through the day.  I also have black and white proof—85 days to be exact—of implementing the principles. 

It is true I should have been more aware of the person’s interests when choosing a gift—and perhaps I could have marketed the homemade pillow better—pointing out the features and why it should be of interest or value. 

 On the bright side—as the day unfolded not as I planned—I knew I had potential for a good blog.  It was just up to me to figure out how to make lemonade from this day.  I knew I had to choose to make lemonade otherwise I’d have an unhappy day.

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Create happiness for others.
Profit from your losses.
Keep busy.

From How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 17.  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

I hope you find value to this story for the right reasons.  My main objective in sharing it is not for sympathy.  Understand that people are who they are—and they don’t always realize the effects of their actions.  I’m among those people more often than not.  Knowing what disappointment feels like—I realize the need to be more appreciative of others for what they do for me.  Remember this the next time you are met with disappointment and learn to change your own behavior before pointing the blame at everyone else. The only person you can change is yourself and how you deal with situations. 

Incidentally, I made two more heart pillows today for no other reason than to keep my mind busy for my own sake.  And let me tell you…. they are stunning.  I might have to go into the pillow business if my lemonade stand doesn’t last. 

Housekeeping / Notes

• Coming soon!  Two guest blog posts!  Two of my favorite gentlemen have stepped up to the challenge.  More information coming soon.
• Don’t forget—mi casa es su casa (my home is your home).  There is always room for a guest blogger at the Smiling Daffodil’s blog home.  All are welcome.  You don’t even need skills at writing.  Click for more information.
• It was a busy weekend.  In case you missed a post, click on the Pictorial/Archive section. Thank you for reading my blog. 

Day 85. Put your heart into a task and you’ll benefit from the outcome

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 85.  Saturday, June 18, 2011
I was listening to the radio on Friday and heard the forecast for Saturday was 104 degrees.  Yikes.  I decided the best thing to do was take cover from the heat. So I ended up at the office. 

You might remember my blog earlier this week about a pillow. 

The outcome of that pillow: 
Seth, Stefano and many other individuals loved the pillow.  I was truly touched. 

At the very end of the day I received “acknowledgement” for the pillow I made by the one person I desperately wanted attention from.  It hurt. 

In my heart I knew the moral of the story was simply to live Dale Carnegie’s principle:  “expect ingratitude.”  I do my best for myself and no one else. 

So today… my plan was to make another pillow—something entirely different.  It’s a bit ironic because I fled this office on Friday to have lunch just to get away from the building.  Now I was voluntarily going to spend my Saturday afternoon at this office to sew. 

Well—I made a mess of the entire sewing studio.  When I do a task I’m very…enthusiastic.  I put my heart into it.

Love what you do

The outcome of my afternoon… this heart pillow I made for my dad for Father’s Day.  (Granted being the marketer that I am—I will give it to him and take it back so I can use it for some marketing pieces.  Dear old dad will get the pillow back eventually….)

The Dale Carnegie principles I used today are from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Put enthusiasm into your work.
Do the very best you can.

I created a pillow today not for the purpose of gaining approval, recognition or appreciation from the one person that denied it to me last time.  Instead I made it because I know I am capable and I loved making it.

My advice to you—pursue your interests whole-heartedly and don’t worry what other people think.  When you take these measures, you are true to yourself and the results of your effort will shine.

Housekeeping / Notes:
Daffodils fade but fortunately for you my blog posts don’t!  Be sure to check the archives / pictorial gallery for your favorite blog post or to catch up on what you missed.  Click to view.

Day 82. I had 8 blog topics to choose from… so what happened?

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

 Day 82.  Wednesday, June 15, 2011
This day was jam packed with opportunities to use Dale Carnegie principles. I had so much blog material I made notes throughout the day so I wouldn’t forget. I even bragged to my friend at work that I can’t keep up with production—business is booming with too many blogs to write.  By the end of the day I had eight blog topics to choose from—a new world record.  (Usually I have at least two stories to choose from)

Surprisingly, as I sat to write earlier this evening I was struggling.  I wrote two drafts just for one of the blog topics and neither draft was any good.  Too much chatter and details—you’d fall asleep with what I wrote! 

How can I have eight fabulous topics and not be able to write them well? That’s when I realized the problem.  It’s that pesky principle from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Rest before you get tired.

For once I was not worried about topics when I sat down to write.  Yet—my mind just couldn’t come up with anything coherent—despite having lived the day’s events. (it might have something to do with the fact that I was up until 3 am on Wednesday)

I have to keep reminding myself that rest is important—otherwise my efforts become futile.  This is not an easy task for me!  Even now as I type this I see it as a fake blog.  Yes, it’s 3:30 am.  But in my mind I can and should just dig my heels in deep and figure out how to write the best blog from the 8 topics I came up with.  Yet, I am also aware that I did try… and it didn’t work.   GRRRRRRR!

So remember, work actually does become easier with the proper amount of rest—both physical and mental rest.  Odds are I will struggle with this one for the entire duration of the blog….

I was discussing this challenge with a friend we will call the Tofu Fairy.  He said something very brave and very true about me.  I am stubborn.  Let’s hope that I can figure out how to harness my stubbornness in such a way that I do rest before I get tired and not feel like I have to apologize for it.

Day 81. If what they say is true then I better live up to their expectations….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles

Day 81.  Tuesday, June 15, 2011
Preface: There are two separate scenarios that helped create one great day.

Part 1.
I walked in to my local coffee shop today and was greeted by “Stefano”. 

Stefano:  “Smiling Daffodil—you are creative and crafty—will you help me with this project?  There are some free Java Chip Frappuccinos in your future in exchange for your help.”

Surprisingly it wasn’t the free Java Chip Frappuccinos that caught my ear.  It was the perception Stefano had of me being creative and crafty.  Those adjectives aren’t normally used to describe me. 

“Of course I’ll help”, I replied.
—
Part 2.
This afternoon I sent an instant message to my coworker Seth.  

Smiling Daffodil:  “Seth, I realize there’s only one right answer to the question I’m going to ask you.  But I’m going to ask you anyway because I need the encouragement.  Should I try to make a project to help promote the new craft book?  The thing is—I doubt anyone will like what I create.  Is there any point in me trying?”

Seth:  “Smiling Daffodil—I think you should make the best “darn” pillow you can and not worry what anyone thinks.  I am certain our customers will like it.” 

So I stayed late at the office and I made the best pillow I could.  I doubted my sewing skills but I remembered Stefano from this morning who declared that I was crafty.  I remembered Seth who said our customers will like what I create.  I considered past successes I have had—from oddball photos for my blog to embroidered bibs to various marketing copy I have written. 

I am fully aware that when I put enthusiasm into a task—my heart goes into it and the outcome is generally good. So I continued to sew and piece together my project.

Blooming with confidence

The end result this evening—an original Smiling Daffodil creation:  a 3-dimensional floral lattice pillow.  This pillow will generate interest and create sales for a new book.  More importantly for me, it symbolizes a renewed confidence in my ability to create—to be crafty.  

The Dale Carnegie principle I used today is from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: 
Do the very best you can.

I know what it is like to be discouraged and not receive the support you need from those that are in a position to give it to you.  But you must be true to yourself.  You must do the very best you can.  You have the choice to let people hold you back… or not. 

All I wanted for the last two months was to experiment with a new product—but I was waiting for an invitation that never came.  What I forgot was—I fuel my own enthusiasm.  I write my own invitations.  I determine my goals.  If I can envision a 3-d pillow then odds are I will figure out how to make it happen.  I needed Stefano and Seth to remind me of these things.

When you are true to yourself and you do the very best you can—you create your happiness and no one can diminish it.   

It is also worth noting that Stefano and Seth used one of Dale Carnegie’s principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People:
Principle 28.  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. 

– Thank you Stefano and Seth. 

Day 79. It was 3 am and I destroyed my blog page….

365 Days of Living the Dale Carnegie Principles 

Day 79.  Sunday, June 12, 2011
I thought I could easily update a page on my blog last night.  I’m not the most proficient with html coding but I can manage adequately for my needs… so I thought.

When I looked at the clock it was 3 am.  I had completely messed up an important page on my blog and despite all my efforts the page kept getting worse.  I was completely frustrated and baffled because the code wasn’t working in a logical manner.  I closed my laptop and went to bed.

Going to bed after 3 am is not the brightest thing to do—especially when you have to get up early.  I was pretty crabby and my head wasn’t feeling so well.  I felt absolutely drained. So I decided this was the perfect excuse for a nap.  A couple hours later I woke up refreshed with a clearer head. 

I sat down to tackle the monumental task of fixing my destroyed blog page.  I wasn’t looking forward to it—I anticipated more frustration. 

Surprisingly… I quickly found a solution that should have been obvious to me last night/this morning.  I quickly made the edits, tested the page and voila—my blog page is fixed.

The Dale Carnegie principle I eventually used is from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living:
Rest before you get tired.

Sometimes it’s best to step away from a problem and rest your mind before trying to figure out a solution.  When you take this approach you’ll discover it’s a lot easier to find solution.

Housekeeping / Notes
Be sure to check the updated archives section.  Each day now has the title description to help you find your favorite blog listing.